Outstanding Obits – Michael “Flathead” Blanchard


I love a good obituary. Not that I think death is funny, but some people’s obits are. For my first entry in Outstanding Obits, I have chosen one you may have already read because it became pretty famous when it was published this May in the Denver Post. If you haven’t read it, then do yourself the favor…

Blanchard, Michael “Flathead”
1944 ~ 2012
A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died. 
Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.
Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

Now that’s how you do it! Besides his penchant for booze and younger women, and not following doctor’s orders, the fact that they put an age limit on his celebration rocks! I wish I knew him so I could hear the raunchy stories that were told, especially by his criminal/prostitute/Democrat friends!

Michael “Flathead” Blanchard, I salute you for your outstanding obit!

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