Hummingbird Double Feeder Hat

Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Hummingbird Double Feeder Hat. You probably think this a joke, right? It’s not…and it retails for $37.00. As usual, there’s only 1 in stock so HURRY UP if you want to buy this gem!

I am almost at a loss for words with this one…almost. What in the shit would you want this for? All I can come up with is placing this on the person who passes out first at your backyard bbq, so you and the rest of your friends can have some laughs and take some pictures to put on Facebook for all to see.

This guy’s big selling point is “Imagine having two beautiful little hummingbirds feeding just to the right and left of you in your face… so close you can feel the breeze generated by the beating of their wings…”. I don’t know about you, but the thought of having those little birds hovering about two inches from my face freaks me out. There is not a single cell in my body that wants a hummingbird so close to me that I can feel the breeze generated by the beating of its wings. Gahhh!  I like nature from a distance, not right up in my grill trying to peck my eyes out. Seriously, what are the chances of a hummingbird even feeding off that disaster? Do you know how long you’d have to sit there before you would ever even find a hummingbird that stupid that it would come that close to you…never mind two…since it’s a double feeder?  My best guess it would happen at exactly quarter to never!

His other selling point is describing the helmet as follows: ” This particular hat is made from a used Bell brand bicycle helmet, It is many shades of Gray, from light to a Darker Grey with a small White highlight in color. This helmet is in very good shape…Recycled from a local thrift store (I only use the best of what I find). It has been washed and cleaned to the best of my ability.”  Um, he lost me at thrift store and cleaned to the best of his ability. That could mean one tiny spray of water and half a wipe down, after a hobo wore it as rain gear. No thanks. The seller states this is something he can guarantee you definitely do not already own. No kidding, Captain Obvious…nor will I ever own this.

The Hummingbird Double Feeder Hat…That’s Shitsy!


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