Look at this ridiculous “invention” I found on Pinterest today…supposed sparkler safety through the use of a Solo cup just in time for the 4th of July. Are you kidding me with this? This is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with parenting today. Does your kid really need to be protected from a friggin sparkler?!? If so, just leave your kid in the house because your little pumpkin doesn’t deserve the joy of a sparkler. When I was a kid, I had sparklers all the time. I would even twirl them through the air to make my own light show…and never once did I get burnt horrifically. Why…because I held it properly away from my body. If I did get a little second of a singe, I said “Ouch!”, laughed and moved on. I wouldn’t have even cared if I had a 3rd degree burn, which I doubt is even possible. I would have soldiered on because sparklers were awesome! I distinctly remember my brother and cousins shaking their sparklers at me like they were going to singe my face off. Hell, I remember standing sideways and making it look like I was a fire-eater at the circus while I passed it down the other side of my face. Guess what, I still have a cheek full of unscathed skin. It was all part of the joy of playing with sparklers!
I have never even heard of the rash of kids being “burned” by sparklers up until the last year or so. I blame it on “Helicopter Parents” who swoop in every two seconds to make sure their little perfect darling never experiences anything that could hold even a mere millisecond of unpleasantness. This is just going too far….and a perfect waste of a Solo cup, which should be holding alcohol. If your child cannot correctly hold a sparkler without burning the shit out of themselves and then crying like a banshee under the picnic table, then they are either too young to have a sparkler or something is seriously wrong.
Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…I dub thee absurd and Unpinteresting.