Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…Unpinteresting

Look at this ridiculous “invention” I found on Pinterest today…supposed sparkler safety through the use of a Solo cup just in time for the 4th of July.  Are you kidding me with this? This is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with parenting today. Does your kid really need to be protected from a friggin sparkler?!? If so, just leave your kid in the house because your little pumpkin doesn’t deserve the joy of a sparkler. When I was a kid, I had sparklers all the time. I would even twirl them through the air to make my own light show…and never once did I get burnt horrifically.  Why…because I held it properly away from my body. If I did get a little second of a singe, I said “Ouch!”, laughed and moved on. I wouldn’t have even cared if I had a 3rd degree burn, which I doubt is even possible.  I would have soldiered on because sparklers were awesome!  I distinctly remember my brother and cousins shaking their sparklers at me like they were going to singe my face off. Hell, I remember standing sideways and making it look like I was a fire-eater at the circus while I passed it down the other side of my face. Guess what, I still have a cheek full of unscathed skin. It was all part of the joy of playing with sparklers!

I have never even heard of the rash of kids being “burned” by sparklers up until the last year or so. I blame it on “Helicopter Parents” who swoop in every two seconds to make sure their little perfect darling never experiences anything that could hold even a mere millisecond of unpleasantness. This is just going too far….and a perfect waste of a Solo cup, which should be holding alcohol. If your child cannot correctly hold a sparkler without burning the shit out of themselves and then crying like a banshee under the picnic table, then they are either too young to have a sparkler or something is seriously wrong.

Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…I dub thee absurd and Unpinteresting.



Filed under Unpinteresting

3 responses to “Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…Unpinteresting

  1. Haha this is classic so true! not a big scary sparkler haha

  2. jeffrey allman

    to the person above with long explanation of why kids should not use solo cups….. your a waste to our society… please walk off the edge of earth… your a Stupid $(&@…. Cheers !!!

    • Dear Jeffrey,

      Did you ever think that “you’re” a stupid $(&@ because you can’t spell “you’re” correctly? Just a thought. Oh, and the Earth is round…no edges to be walked off. There’s scientific proof. Look it up…after you consult a dictionary, of course. Cheers back at ya…out of a correctly used Solo cup!

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