William Joseph “Willie” Patton…Perhaps The Best Obit Ever Written


Using this picture was genius!

I’m an “Awesome Obits” hound…and this is may be the best I’ve ever seen. Seeing this picture in the paper made me immediately read it…but don’t be fooled because it’s just the beginning of greatness:

William “Willie” Joseph Patton

AGE: 69 • Highlands

William “Willie” Joseph Patton (aka “Mad Dog”), 69, passed away on Sunday, April 29, 2012, at Mt. Sinai Hospital, having lived more than twice as long as his elementary school teachers had predicted. Willie, a longtime Rumson resident, will be remembered for his wonderful and sometimes demented sense of humor, quick wit, lifelong friendships, magnificent ability to tan & maintain that tan through the gloomiest winter months, charming good looks, larger-than-life personality, and the uncanny ability to don any person with the most suitable of nicknames. Born to Hazel & William Sr. in 1943, Willie spent his youth thinking of every which way to avoid going to school and surrounded himself with the delinquents of all delinquents, the “Park Gang.” The altar-boy-gone-bad was expelled from Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School at the tender age of the 17 and decided to try his luck with the United States Navy. While in the Navy, Willie was a member of the National Honor Guard. He had the opportunity to meet with then President John F. Kennedy, and claimed that Kennedy didn’t listen to a lick of his advice. Following an honorable discharge from the Navy and a short stint with the Rumson Postal Service, an ironic twist of fate would land Willie on the right side of the law for the first time in his life as he became a Rumson Police Officer. Willie spent the next 26 years of his life protecting & serving the crime-riddled streets of Rumson. It is rumored that Willie holds the record for the least amount of ticket violations ever issued by a Rumson police officer. In addition to his duties as a police officer, Willie was a proud member of the Oceanic Hook & Ladder Co. 1 for 41 years. Once out of uniform following a grueling 8-hour shift, Willie could be found enjoying an ice cold Budweiser or CC & water while surrounded by friends at his favorite watering hole, Briody’s. Willie loved his family and friends and was loved in return. He knew when to take life seriously and when to have fun. He will be deeply missed and never forgotten by all who had the pleasure of knowing him. His spirit will live on through our shared stories and laughter.

I defy you to find one written any better than that. It was so good that I almost considered faking knowing him and attending the wake.Willie, I’m glad you lived twice as long as your elementary school teachers predicted, and President Kennedy totally should have heeded your sage advice! The world may have been a different place today because of you.

William Joseph “Willie” Patton, I salute you for a life well lived, and an outstanding obit!

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2 Comments

Filed under Outstanding Obits

2 responses to “William Joseph “Willie” Patton…Perhaps The Best Obit Ever Written

  1. Thanks a lot for taking some time in order to compose “William Joseph Willie PattonPerhaps The Best Obit Ever Written | Oh Yes
    They Did!”. Thank you yet again ,Paul

  2. Paul, did you happen to know Willie by any chance?

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