BBQ Fouls

Happy 4th of July everyone! Since many of you will be going to BBQ’s today, I thought I’d share with you complete BBQ fouls, courtesy of Etsy.

Crocheted BBQ Items….people seriously crochet just about anything and sell it on Etsy. I’m there to eat, not to pretend.

Knitted Cozi for your Solo Cup. People need to stop knitting everything. My cozi needs to be insulated because I like my drink cold. This does nothing…..and at our house we just write our names in marker to ID our cups.

Speaking of Solo Cups…A Red Solo Cup Necklace, with the pendant cut from the bottom of the cup and shrunken in the oven. Total “Glamour Don’t”!

Cheeseburger Cuff Links…just in case someone decides to come wearing a 3 piece suit.

Patriotic Wine Glass Neck Piece…Nothing says “I’m a raging alcoholic who can’t part with my drink” like this does…and I think wearing it with a white shirt is a poor choice. You are totally sloshing your drink on it….but in wearing this, you are already a step ahead of poor choices.

Impressionist Steaks With Easel. Don’t bring this as a gift for your host. They won’t appreciate it…however they will appreciate it if you bring extra alcohol…so bring that instead.

Varmint Voodoo – Mosquito Edition. I’m sure your guests who are getting the skin chewed off them in your yard would rather have some Deep Woods Off instead of stabbing this with the 3 pins it comes with, in hopes of driving mosquitoes away. If they are smart, they will stab you with the pins for even bringing this out.

Hickory Scented Soap….So you can smell like a BBQ all of the time. If you put this in your bathroom, nobody is going to wash their hands. Yuck.

BBQ Perfume : “Why do I smell BBQ if the grill isn’t on yet?”

Semi Trucker Apron with Hidden Penis…for the creepy cook. I was nice and put the censored version, but let’s just say it’s ” very realistic, yet oversized”, as per the seller. Huge BBQ Foul.

and finally, the biggest BBQ Foul of all…

The Jeffrey Dahmer BBQ’ing Apron.  This screams “I’m a gigantic, unfunny douchebag”. Seriously.

Producing any of these items at a backyard BBQ today…That’s Shitsy!

(Hope you all have a Fabulous 4th! God Bless America!)


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