Bath Salts…a pretty sick drug craze that’s gripping people around the country. As if the recent “Zombie Apocalypse” due to it wasn’t enough, the latest bath salts story to hit the news may actually top that. If the following isn’t enough to stop someone from trying bath salts, then I don’t know what is. If you haven’t heard about this yet, then prepare yourself, because it’s disgusting…
See, what had happened was…Police were summoned to the home of 21 year old Matthew Hammond of Gwinnett County, GA for a little disturbance. His mom called them stating that he was “walking around out of his mind,acting in a very schizophrenic manner, and was armed with a knife”. When the police arrived, he proved he completely gone and not afraid of them, because he charged at the police car and began banging on the windows. The police were forced to draw down on him, and he was sane enough at that moment to drop the knife. He then challenged the officers to a fight, before being subdued and taken into custody.
When they got him to the police station, they noticed he stunk and he kept quoting the tag line from Frank’s Hot Sauce – “I put that shit on everything!“. Well, he wasn’t lying about that, because upon further inspection, that’s exactly what he had in his mouth. No…not Frank’s Hot Sauce…shit. Yes, shit! (I’ll give you a second to process that image.) They think it was his own shit, but can’t really be sure exactly whose it was that was smeared all over the inside of his mouth, his teeth and gum line. I guess that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things though. Shit is shit.
Jesus. H. Christ. I really hope that’s a gap in his front teeth. OK, I have to be honest, I really don’t, because he deserves to have the shit on his teeth on full display in his mug shot! When someone tells this guy his breath smells like shit, they are right on the money! They should take his mug shot and make him the poster boy for a “Just Say No To Bath Salts” campaign. Anything that will make you eat shit, or find other people tasty is perhaps the craziest drug there is.
I’m sure the people who make Frank’s Hot Sauce are really thrilled, huh?
Bath Salts…officially one shitty drug.
**By the way…I know it turns out that the face eating guy in CA didn’t have bath salts in his system…but it made for a good headline.