Finally, I have a “What Had Happened Was” post that isn’t from NJ!!! Yayyyy! New Jersey-ites everywhere can exhale and smile now because actually this story is out of Penfield, NY.
See, what had happened was…Jackie Samuel has started a new business called “The Snuggery“, where you can rent her out to snuggle with her. Yeah, that’s right…You can head on over to “The Snuggery” and she will snuggle with you for $60.00 an hour. She says that snuggling lowers your blood pressure, and you will feel calm for days. Oh, and she has a strict “No Sex” rule, so don’t even think about it. However, she does state that it would be perfectly normal if the snuggee “were to become sexually aroused, so it really shouldn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable”. She just thinks people really feel the need to have someone to get a little snuggle time with. Jackie even went out to see if there was a license she could obtain for this, but alas, there is no such thing. (That’s what happens when you are a true pioneer like she is.) She doesn’t have that many customers yet though, so she is still selling real estate in the meantime, until her business really takes off.
A few things here…
*Exactly what kind of person does she think is really going to show up and pay to snuggle with her? I’m thinking either a total freak show that you wouldn’t want anywhere near you…or someone with much different intentions than snuggling. Oh, that’s right…she did make the whole “sexual arousal is normal” claim though. I have a feeling she is going to get poked in the back more than she thinks…and eventually it’s going to get uncomfortable.
*How did she come up with that pricing plan??? $50 for 45 minutes, $60.00 for an hour, and $90.00 for 90 minutes?!? If you have to pay someone a buck a minute to snuggle with you, you need to re-evalute your life a little bit…or you can just go buy a body pillow for $12.99 at WalMart. (Those are damn comfy…I had one when I was pregnant to rest my belly on, so I know)…and the body pillow won’t talk to you, get any stinky funk on you, or poke you in the back unexpectedly. It’s a much better deal, I think.
*She has a degree in Brain and Cognitive Science and is getting her Master’s in Social Work…don’t you think those two degrees would qualify her to understand that a serial killer might show up and smother her with a pillow? I hear they like to snuggle that way.
I’m having a hard time snuggling my brain around this concept, and think Jackie better hope for a real estate boom in the near future, because I don’t really see this working out. I just don’t. Good luck with that Jackie…and you may want to keep some mace or a taser under your pillow…just saying.