Beware… A Mad WalMart Toe Sucker is on the Lam in GA!


Attention all those considering shopping in the Grovetown, GA area…leave your shoes on because there is a mad toe sucker on the loose! (I gagged a little typing that.)

See, what had happened was…an 18 year old young lady was shopping at her local WalMart when a man approached her with a few basic questions like:

“Do you paint your toenails?”

“Do you watch America’s Funniest Home Videos?” (He said he worked for them.)

and finally, “Can I kiss your feet?”

I guess she was quite the rocket scientist and fell for this prose, because she went along with it…yet started screaming when he started sucking on her toes. He forgot to mention that part of the deal.

Now,  a few things here…

First of all, if I am reading this correctly, he asked if she painted her toenails…thus she had shoes on rather than flip flops. Therefore, she actually had to go through the motion of taking her shoes off for this. At no point did she ever stop to think this was odd? Apparently not. I hope she was in the shoe section of the store at least, so this makes a fraction of an ounce of sense to me. Otherwise this occurred somewhere in the middle of a random aisle. I am picturing her standing there leaning against the Wile E. Coyote car floor mats with the flames on them while he sucks her toes…and I am pretty disgusted for having to even picture that.

Secondly, if she actually watched America’s Funniest Videos,  she would know that videos are viewer submitted, not done by people that work there. Did she see a camera crew anywhere while she peeled her shoes and socks off? I am going with no…unless he was crafty and was filming it himself with his cell phone. Did she think this was going to be her big break in the entertainment field and she could finally leave Georgia behind?  She really is getting stupider by the minute.  (Yes, stupider is a word…I looked it up!)

Finally, I wonder how long before she felt he crossed the line. Did this go on for a few minutes before her synapses actually started firing for a second or was her mortification immediate? She seems incredibly dumb, so I am going to go with the synapse guess. There’s no way she was there shopping for furnishings for her new dorm room at Yale…just saying.

Said toe-sucker only stopped when she started screaming, but not before he told her, “It tasted so good though!” before he ran away. Gahhhhhh!

This whole story is bananas to me on way too many levels. The only part that makes sense is that this occurred in a WalMart. Of course it did.  Why wouldn’t it? This shit would never happen at Lord and Taylor, because it’s a totally different crowd that shops there. When I go to my local WalMart, I refuse to even make eye contact with the freaks around me..never mind converse. Uh-uh…not happening. (I do side-eye everybody though, just for my own personal laughs!)

I know one thing for sure…this would never happen in a WalMart in NJ. This guy would get his jaw kicked clean off his face just for the attempt. It’s how we roll.

I’m totally scanning the news for a follow-up on this. I’m dying to see what both this genius girl and toe-sucker look like. Every WalMart has cameras, don’t they?

I don’t know about you, but this inquiring mind needs a follow up here!

Toe-sucking…and random toe-sucking at that…ick.

******Since posting this, I have come across the following information:

* She went along with it because he offered to pay for her purchase, up to $100, and she is unemployed. (Still unacceptable)

* I also found out some more about the guy who did it. He’s a registered sex offender who has done this before. (That really shouldn’t be too much of a shock.) Now, I really hope someone kicks his jaw clean off his face, and then some.  Douchebag.

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