Famous Portraits…Or Not.


I’ll reveal this famous beauty at the end…

Look at what I found on Etsy today… Homemade portraits of famous people that are ripe for the picking! I’m not sure what’s worse on some of these…the portraits they drew or the subjects they chose. Enjoy:

Beyonce…A little heavy on the makeup girl…and you need some chin Botox.

Kanye West…about 50 pounds heavier.

Anderson Cooper…What the hell happened to his teeth?

Angelina Jolie…pissed off after a long day with the kids.

Frank Sinatra…with a big wonky eye. Blasphemy, I say! You don’t do this to Frank…you just don’t! If you need to make a wonky eye portrait, you draw Paris Hilton. Now, that’d be realistic.

A Bill Murray Cross-Stitch…Paging Dr. Marvin…Dr. Leo Marvin!

Mickey Mantle…I am a life long Yankee fan. I looked at this picture for quite a while, without cheating to see who it was…and I came up with nothing. It just looks like a generic baseball player with a Yankee hat on….and that Yankee blue is all wrong.

Jack Nicholson…If you put bolts on his neck he looks like Frankenstein. Oooopha.

Susan Boyle…who I never knew possessed the world’s longest thumbs.

Sarah Palin…in about 30 years.

Arsenio Hall…on notebook paper, with a peanut sized head.

Fidel Castro embossed cuff links…in case you want to show your love for him, but don’t want everyone to know about it. (Wearing these in Miami would be a baaaad idea!)

JR Martinez portrait embossed playing cards…I don’t get why you would do this.

Brett Favre, walking away (for the first of many times). Why does his face look like a beaver? God, that is awful.

“A one of a kind Betty White, done by a soon to be famous 12 year old”. I counted like 8 chins on her! Stay in school kid…art isn’t in your future.

Beaded John Wayne…Whoa…take’er easy there Pilgrim!

Seller states: “I know this is someone famous, but I can’t figure out who it is.” No shit…me neither!

and my personal favorites…Rice Straw Art…Mind you the seller said these each took five days to make…which means she had five days to reconsider…

Chelsea Clinton…ouch.

Billy Crystal…sweet mother of pearl!

Chelsea Clinton again… this woman must be a Republican.

Ted Danson…Eek!

Bea Arthur

Dear Abby…Why did someone do this to you? Signed, Perplexed

and finally…who was that star in the portrait at the beginning of this post???

Suzanne Somers…yes it is….YES.IT.IS.

So there you have it. I have to say, I don’t understand wanting to own any of these. I get that people love certain famous people, but come on. For instance, I LOVE Derek Jeter, but I would never think of wanting a “homemade” portrait of him…especially one of those Rice Straw ones. That’s some strange and ugly shit, my friends.

Famous Portraits…That’s Shitsy!

PS – No matter how much I stare at it, I DO NOT see Suzanne Somers anywhere in that portrait, do you?

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2 Comments

Filed under That's Shitsy!

2 responses to “Famous Portraits…Or Not.

  1. Wow, the things that can be considered art. Haha, I don’t see Suzanne Somers either, no matter how hard I stare or squint. 😉

  2. Glad it’s not just me Lily! I don’t even see young “Three’s Company” Suzanne Somers in that. Somewhere Suzanne is pretty insulted, I bet!

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