Patchwork Kitty Pillow

Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Patchwork Kitty Pillow.  What a disaster this thing is, huh? I get the whole patchwork thing, but there is way too much going on here and it actually is painful to look at. I feel like I need to go to the eye doctor after staring at this! The seller must have taken every last little stinking scrap she had laying around and sewn them together to make it. What a bad case of “waste not, want not” this is. She should sell it under the name “Shitty Kitty”! It would be a much more accurate description.

The seller describes her creation as follows:

Patchwork Kitty Pillow with Ragged Edges in Pink Floral Colors with Acrylic Navette and Quarter Moon Rhinestone Eyes That Sparkle & Pipe Cleaner Whiskers That Glitter. She is stuffed about 3 1/2″ thick and is 16 1/2″ tall by 12″ wide. Her 3’D tail curls in a near heart shape. Her pink felt heart nose is a embroidered on with a blanket stitch.

Thank God she gave such a descriptive detail because I wouldn’t be able to make out the differences in what she used. I had to actually stare at it in order to see the 3-D tail curling into a near heart shape. Also, she really went full board with the pipe cleaner whiskers, didn’t she? They are flat out awful, if you ask me. They’re all over the place. I don’t know any cats with funky whiskers like that, do you? I cannot even remotely tell that they are glittery, but the seller swears they are.  The pillow is a whopping 3 1/2 inches thick…what the hell am I going to do with such a thin pillow? I’d be better off resting my head on my arm…and the pipe cleaners may slice my cheek open anyway. The ends look a little frayed, so I’m guessing they’re sharp. Maybe that’s why she says this isn’t especially good for children. I don’t really think it’s good for anyone, especially someone who hasn’t had a tetanus shot recently!

This fine specimen retails for $29.00 (Yeah, I couldn’t believe that either!), and there’s only one in stock (shocker) so you need to HURRY UP if you want this gracing your humble abode! Actually, I am pretty sure you can take your sweet nature time going over to the site to order it, because I don’t foresee this going anywhere anytime soon.

Patchwork Kitty Pillow…That’s Shitsy!


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