Upcycled Wedding Cake Topper


Look at what I found on Etsy today…a “Unique Upcycled Wedding Cake Topper”, which I deem absolutely atrocious. This is proof that everything in life does not need to be “upcycled”!

Before I even launch into my rant, here’s what the seller had to say about it:

This unique wedding cake topper is made with upcycled items, vintage love song sheet music, old lace,decoupage,paper mache’,flowers,metal doves,ribbon and so much more..
If you are looking for a great keepsake plus a cake topper than look no further. 
It measures 9 in. tall by roughly 8in. wide and across the top box 3 1/2 in. Room for a bride and groom and/or a photo of the bride and groom.

Did you take a good look at that monstrosity? Perhaps you need to see it from other angles too:

I think you missed a spot or three with the lace!

Everything in the junk drawer is on this cake!

Could she possible stuff another single stray piece of non-matching shit on this cake topper? The lace and decoupage look like a 2nd grader did them. The whole putting burn marks on the love song in an attempt to be “artsy” is a disaster. She should have kept going and just torched the whole thing. And what is that thing on the top…a creased up aqua tombstone? It might as well be, because if this is cake topper is any indication of your married life, it is DOA.

Imagine spending bucks on a nice wedding cake and putting this on top? You better have a big cake because it’s 9 inches tall by 8 inches wide, and likely pretty heavy thanks to those metal doves roosting in the front.  Speaking of bucks, this retails for $85.00! She must be including labor costs in the price because I think the grand total of the materials used is somewhere in the area of $8.94. (I used rough math there, but I believe I’m in the ballpark!)

Upcycled Wedding Cake Topper…That’s Shitsy!





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