HUGE shout-out to The Room Mom for finding this awesome gadget on Pinterest and sending it to me to post about! Without further ado, I present to you the amazing Banana Slicer!!!
Have you ever chopped bananas up for a nice fruit salad for your backyard bbq and worried that you just may insult your guests and lose friends due to your uneven banana slices? I personally haven’t, because my friends are much more concerned with how cold the beer is in the cooler. However, there are some highly anal retentive people in the world that can’t take the strain of having imperfect banana slices thrust upon their plates…and for them comes this oh-so-amazing product!
Take a gander at the ridiculousness of this thing. Obviously that picture is just the product being used as a protective banana cage of some sort. (OMG – They totally missed out on a dual-marketing opportunity there!) This would undoubtedly keep it safe from the predators that roam your home! However, to actually use it, you would have to turn it upside down and push the frigging banana through the slicer. Nobody wants perfect banana slices with finger pressings all over it. It will get all bruised up! Then the bruises will turn black, and before you know it your “friends” will be telling everyone in town what a crappy bbq you threw. Great…
Anyway…it is posted on Amazon for $5.49 and may contain some of the funniest/most sarcastic review comments I have ever seen. Here are a few of my favorites:
*For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. “Use a knife!” they say. Well…my parole officer won’t allow me to be around knives. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed!
*I found myself in between a rock and some creatures lake when I saw something gold glint on the lake shore. I picked it up and a Victoria Kitchen 571B Banana Slicer came out of the dirt. No sooner did I hear Gollum scream “why can’t we cuts the banana straight!”. I hid the banana slicer and narrowly escaped. I’ve grown obsessed with it. Everyone wants it but it’s MINE!
*No longer do I have to get out a ruler to make sure I slice the banana in to equal pieces. Every time I am a centimeter off I would have to throw away the whole banana and start over! I spent an average of $1.00 a week on banana because of this. Thanks to this amazing invention I can save so much time and money now!
*I was thinking that this device is beneficial to EVERYONE with only one exception…Chuck Norris! I mean, duh, everyone knows that when Chuck Norris looks at a banana, it peels and slices itself!!!
There’s pages upon pages more of these comments and you can check them out here, if you’ve got some spare time on your hands and need a chuckle!
Again, thank you The Room Mom for enlightening the rest of us to the greatness of the Banana Slicer! I don’t know how we have possibly made it this far in life without it! Be sure to check her blog out! It’s full of ideas for parents and teachers…and no I have never featured her on my blog for
special attention ridicule! I actually really like her ideas!
Banana Slicer, although you just may have some of the funniest reviews ever posted on Amazon.com, I still must dub thee Unpinteresting. Just use a knife you lazy bitches!
PS – If you ever come across something great like this, feel free to send it my way at firstname.lastname@example.org. If I use it, I promise to give you the proper shout out that you deserve! Outstanding Obits are always especially welcomed!