Cash For Crack Heads!

Allow me to introduce to you a true job opportunity for the crack heads residing in New Jersey.

See, what had happened was…I was happily sipping my coffee and perusing the Asbury Park Press on Sunday morning, when I came across this giant ad placed smack dab underneath the movie times…and I could not believe my drug-free, tax paying eyes!

Let me get this straight…Rutgers University’s Center of Alcohol Studies is willing to give pieces of shit who are a drain on society people who regularly smoke cocaine a $100 Visa card to look at their brain functions?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?

A few things here:

* I have strong doubts that anyone who regularly smokes cocaine is going to be perusing the Sunday Asbury Park Press anytime soon. Thus they won’t even get to see this fine opportunity that’s come a-knockin on their door! They should post this on telephone poles in some of the finer parts of the great Garden State if they want anyone who is “qualified” to actually know about this.

* The first thing those pieces of shit who are a drain on society people are going to do is go down to the local pawn shop and get somewhere between $30-$50  for trading that Visa card in…and what exactly do you think they are going to do with their new found fortune? Hmmm, that’s a tough one, huh? (Unless crack dealers accept Visa gift cards. I wouldn’t know.)

* What defines “regularly”? Do you have to smoke it everyday? A few days a week? They really need to be more specific here.

*Why don’t this just go down to some rehab and ask to do this kind of bullshit to people who are trying to quit? If they smoked crack regularly, the damage has already been done, hasn’t it? Is it because one actually gets to smoke cocaine while the study is occurring? If so, is Rutgers supplying the crack? Are they going to use the highest quality stuff or some street level shit from a corner in Newark? Do they get to bring their own crack with them?

I don’t know about you, but this whole advertisement totally pisses me off. If you are a piece of shit who is a drain on society  person who regularly smokes crack, there’s no way you should get a $100 Visa gift card thanks to being such a fine upstanding citizen that you can’t put the crack pipe down. They already get shit handed to them on a silver platter in NJ thanks to my tax dollars, and now they get a Visa card to boot? Where’s my $100 Visa card for being a good person who raises her child correctly and holds an actual job??? Ohhh, that’s right…there’s no “reward” for that. That is some serious bullshit. Shame on you Rutgers for placing this ad in the newspaper and offering these lowlifes any extra money. I don’t give a flying shit how poorly their melted brains function, and neither should you. Maybe you can give them some more free medical treatment too after you check the pictures out… because that’d be par for the course in NJ.

In the words of the late Whitney Houston…”Crack is Whack!” and so is this bullshit advertisement!



1 Comment

Filed under What Had Happened Was

One response to “Cash For Crack Heads!

  1. zenfish1

    Let me get this straight…they’re going to give me $100 and supply the crack too? Or is it BYOC to Rutgers Day? Either way, you’re right, a crack head won’t even see this ad unless he happens to use newspapers for a blanket on the park bench he calls home. But who has time for all that reading when you’re riding the crack train anyway? Haha! Your blog is the funniest part of my day 🙂

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