Monthly Archives: September 2012

Marilyn “Monore” Pencil Drawing


Look at what I found on Etsy today…an original Marilyn “Monore” pencil drawing. If you’re anything like me, you’re likely saying to yourself: Who the hell is Marilyn Monore??!? Well, look at the picture above, and maybe it’ll clue you in. Still nothing? Yeah, me neither!

Clearly the seller is equally talented at both spelling and drawing, because I’m guessing that’s supposed to be a drawing of Marilyn Monroe. I’ve stared and stared at it, and I don’t see it at all. The best I can come up with is the lady in the drawing looks like someone from a Clairol commercial from the 70’s…you know, because of the awesome “winged hair” she’s working there.

Can someone please tell me what the hell is with the wonk-ass eye she drew? One’s looking right at ya, and the other is trying to sneak a look at your shoes.  It’s all over the place!

The only thing this woman got remotely right is the dot she used for the mole Marilyn Monroe had on her face…or that could just be a crumb she dropped on the picture before she took it.  Taking into account the precision used to create this fine artwork, I am going with the latter.

The seller continues her anti-correct-spelling spree in her description with the following sentence: Getting away form the vintage this is a pencil drawing I did of Marilyn Monore. Holy Christ, would someone buy this woman a friggin spell checker please? Not only does she say “form” rather than “from”, but she continues to call her Marilyn “Monore” throughout the entire ad! Also, I’m guessing that she has never heard of that new fangled thing called a comma that the rest of us use when we write.

The kicker for me was that if you order one, you’re not getting an original. Rather you will get the original she drew, then scaned it onto HP glossy brillante photo sheet for a glossy finish to the drawing. (Holy shit, did you catch that? More misspellings!!! I copied and pasted that part for your further enjoyment!) Anyway, back to the description…So she’s going to send people this shit on a glossy papered copy?!? You can’t even get the original, huh? I’m sure she’s got it safely locked up somewhere, just in case she hits it big and has to loan it out to all of the big galleries.

Did I mention she’s charging $10.00 plus another $2.00 for shipping for this shit? This lady has some set of balls on her to even think she’s going to make a sale here.

Pencil Drawing of Marilyn “Monore”… between the artwork itself and the spelling that comes with it…That’s Shitsy…and then some!

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Breast Feeding Wand


Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Breast Feeding Wand.  Do I think breast feeding is magical? Yes! Do I think someone actually needs a breast feeding wand to wave around? Not really.

Here’s why the seller says you need it:

* Do you want the Breast Feeding Fairy to give special blessings to someone you love who is about to have a baby? Well, consider yourself that fairy, swish this wand around her a few times and voila…a good wish has been bestowed. A little hokey, but some people may like that kind of thing.

* You may be one of those ladies that breastfeeds in public. If so, you can set this wand out in front of you “to give the passerby another boob to look at, if they must”. Also, I’m guessing you can probably just wave it around like a lunatic while the baby feeds so people know what you’re doing. I think that would just cause you to draw more attention to yourself, but whatever.

*Maybe you ” just want to show some support for breastfeeding, how better to say ‘yay breastfeeding!’ but with a visual aid with fun swingy ribbons?” Um, that is just weird. I’m sure people will be thrilled if you stroll around in public looking for nursing moms, so you can stand there and cheer them on. Awkward…

*Finally the seller states that it can be used when your child gets a little older and wants to frolic in your yard with a fun play toy. If they don’t want to play with a boob wand, you can paint the boob into something else, like the sun. “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”.  I say you leave the boob on there for the entire neighborhood to see. It’ll give them something to talk about, besides hearing you yell when you forget you have the windows open. (Come on, we’ve ALL been there!)

Unfortunately, the seller is on vacation, so she’s not selling them right at this very minute, thus I have no price to quote. Not to worry though, she will be back soon and will resume selling this item. I’m so curious to know how much this is!

Breast Feeding Wand…although I hate to say it because I think breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, I still think this is weird, so…That’s Shitsy!

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Pole Dancing For Kids…Klassy With A K!


I know I said I was only going to post on weekends now, but after reading this story, I knew I had to post about it.

What Had Happened Was…a Canadian dance studio named Twisted Grip and Fitness has decided that it was a fantastic idea to offer pole dancing classes named “Little Spinners”  for children as young as five years old. The owner, Kristy Craig, said that she “introduced the class because existing clients wanted it, and so far three girls and one boy have registered for classes, which start on Sept. 22. Her youngest student is 5 years old, the oldest is about 12 years old.” She says there’s nothing sexual about it, because (and I quote) “It’s pure fitness and strength and fun. I mean kids love climbing trees. They will climb anything.

Um, sorry Kristy, but climbing trees as a kid is normal. Swinging from a stripper pole isn’t. Any parent who signs their kid up for this should seriously have their head checked, and should go out and change their child’s name to something awesome, like Candy Apple. That way, when they someday become a stripper, thanks to mom and dad’s grand plans for his/her future, they will know it’s go time when they hear “Please welcome to the main stage, Candy Apple!”. I’m sure the parents won’t mind being reimbursed for all of those great lessons in singles someday,  right?

I have a feeling the talent shows at their local elementary schools will never be the same.  I’m pretty sure the schools don’t even have a brass pole lying around, but I have a feeling the charming parents of these kids will buy their little darlings a portable one, just in case. (You never know when one might need to do a performance.) Do you know what my daughter did last year at her school talent show?  Hula hooped, because that’s what a normal 10 year old does.

Way to go Twisted Grip and Fitness. You’ve sunken humanity to a whole new level with this one. Maybe you can get a reality show on TLC to rival Toddlers & Tiaras, and all of those other disgusting assholes they like to make famous. You’ll fit right in. (Insert sarcastic slow golf clap here.)

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Boot Planters


Look at what I found on Pinterest today…Boot Planters. What in the hell is with people recycling things to put plants in? First the Bra Planter, and now this?  The only thing I can almost remotely see is taking a pair of your child’s little rain boots that they’ve grown out of and planting something in it for a season. It can be a cute little crafty thing for you and your kid.  However, buying two dozen rain boots, planting stuff in them, and thinking that looks nice in your yard is stupid.  Does this person have functioning eyes? I have to question whether she actually does because this looks ridiculous. Perhaps someone should tell this woman that there is a new fangled item out to put her plants in…called pots. They definitely cost less than two dozen rain boots and looks a hell of a lot nicer. If she wants to recycle her rain boots so badly, she can just do the duct tape boot thing, OR she could just throw them out like everyone else does,  OR she could throw them in her recycling bin if it makes her happy to be so green. Just don’t use them as planters.

Boot Planters…I dub thee Unpinteresting.

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New Posting Schedule


 

Happy Saturday everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that with school starting back up, I will have to change my posting schedule to the weekends. From September to June, I am one busy woman. I hope you will still stick around to enjoy my favorite Unpinteresting and Shitsy finds. Thanks again for reading my blog!

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