Monthly Archives: December 2012

Snowflake Project – Sandy Hook Elementary School


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For any of you wishing to be a part of the Snowflake Project for the Sandy Hook Elementary School, there has been an address correction! Please send your glittery, beautiful snowflakes to the following address:

Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514

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Rest in Peace Little Angels/Snowflake Project


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Out of respect for the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, I will not be making any posts until after Christmas. As a parent and a teacher, my heart is too heavy for humor. Wishing all of my readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season! Take some time to tell those around you that you love them and reflect on the many blessings in your life.

If you would like to do something nice for the survivors from the Sandy Hook Elementary School, please read below about “The Snowflake Project”. While it is a GREAT project for teachers and their students, it is also something you can do with your own child:

CALLING ALL TEACHER FRIENDS!!! Please Please consider participating!!!!

My dear friend who is a teacher in CT passed this along so I thought I would share. This could be a great project for school, playgroups, or a simple activity at home. Please consider participating!

A building has been designated to house the students from Sandy Hook Elementary School. They are in the process of transporting desks, chairs, supplies and so forth to this location.

My neighbor is the president of the Newtown PTA and we met tonight discussing what we can do to make these children feel comforted upon their return to school.
Please join us in “The Snowflake Project”.We are asking your students to make and decorate a snowflake. We will hang them in the hallways at the stark, new building where the Sandy Hook students will be returning. PLEASE NO WORDS! We want just a cheerful, happy (glitter and sparkle) environment for the students entering the new building.
Please pass on to any teachers you think may want to participate.
When you send your snowflakes, please include a note to tell us where they are from (your school, class, town, etc) to display along with your snowflakes. 
Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514
Thank you so very much!
It is a simple gesture that will help make a difference for the students as they try to heal. My students will be making these today.
May God Bless all those from the Sandy Hook Elementary School and the citizens of Newtown, Connecticut. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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The Laziest Christmas Lights EVER…


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Look at what I found on Pinterest today…The Firefly Landscape Laser Lights…AKA the laziest Christmas lights EVER.

Here’s what the seller, Solutions, has to say about it:

We guarantee you won’t miss the tradition of climbing a ladder on a cold, snowy or rainy day to string lights. Instead, just plug in this light. Your home, your trees, your entire yard will come to life with a stunning light show. This all-new way to decorate uses cutting-edge laser and holographic technology to project thousands of pin-points of green light…it gives the impression of thousands of fireflies!

OK…Let me tell you a little something about this…It’s just plain stupid…and lazy…and did I mention stupid?!? Are you kidding me that someone would actually hook this thing up in their front yard, point it at their home, and think this passes as a Christmas display? It most certainly does not. First of all, the lights are on everything under the sun…the house, the windows, the front stairs,  the lawn, the sky…C’mon! Nobody, not even Clark Griswald, does that!

Want to see how great it looks in the middle of the night? Prepare yourself…

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Oh yeah, that looks fantastic, doesn’t it?? I’m sure the neighbors will all be really jealous of that house. It looks like a scene out of a B Horror movie!

This company needs to take an angle and stick to it! How do they market this as  thousands of fireflies and then say this is a great solution to being cold and hanging Christmas lights? It is not a great solution to anything.  Is it fireflies or is it Christmas lights? Is it both? I personally have to go with neither!

I’m fairly certain they made up the great reviews too:

*By Pearl, from East Tennessee
 
Pros: ease of use, covers a large area, more spectacular than described, use throughout the year
“I’ve seen a lot of light displays – this ONE elicited my dance of joy! One light source, easy to install (plug in). The trees are full of twinkling “snow flakes”. From the house hang glistening “icicles”. The light is far-reaching – just a flip of the switch turns my entire yard into a fairy land. I highly recommend this product. The spectacular effects and ease of operation make this well worth the price. I continue to be amazed by the cheerful beauty created by this one.”
I am frightened that Pearl actually did a dance of joy over this! Twinkling snowflakes?!? Glistening icicles? What the hell is she looking at?
*By John, from Lakeland, Fl

“I bought this to help decorate my front yard for Christmas. I have a huge Magnolia tree that is now completely lit up! My neighbors can’t believe how cool this thing is. It’s well made and works great.”
Dear John, Your neighbors are lying through their teeth!
*and finally by Bob, from New Jersey

 Pros: easy
“With just plugging in, the most unique Christmas display on the street. It was a neighborhood hit!”
Bob, I speak for everyone in our great state of NJ, when I say it was only the hit of the neighborhood behind your back. I’m embarrassed Bob. That’s not how we roll in Jersey at Christmas time!
If you would like to be the laziest person on your street with the worst Christmas light display EVER, then swing on by Solutions, and get ready to drop a cool $279.00 on this Christmas horror. Sweet Baby Jesus! It’s over $300.00 with shipping! I cannot believe anyone would actually buy this, but you know my motto “People are stupid”, and apparently lazier than I ever gave them credit for. Wow. Just WOW!
Firefly Landscape Laser Lights…..I dub thee Unpinteresting, Shitsy, and a complete eyesore.

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Here’s an oldie but goodie…just in time for “Secret Santa”! Enjoy!

Oh Yes They Did!

Look at what I found on Pinterest today…”Secret Santa Gifts that cost under $2.00″.  Yes, you read that right…TWO FRIGGIN DOLLARS! This is seriously the cheapest “Secret Santa” I have ever seen in my life! If you’re going to do a “Secret Santa” thing at work, you need to go at least $10 to get something decent.  If anyone ever said to me, “Hey, we’re doing a Secret Santa with a $2.00 limit! Are you in?”…I wouldn’t be able to say “No!” fast enough so I wouldn’t get betrothed with any of this shit….or ask if it’s a joke. I’m thinking they don’t even announce a set limit of $2.00, but just go with this as what they’re going to give! I’d be pissed if I put a bunch of thought into what to get someone and then got this in return!  Enjoy:


and finally, the Grand Pooba of $2.00 Secret Santa…

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Custom Vagina Ornament


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Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Custom Vagina Ornament for your Christmas tree.

I have to tell you that I never knew there was such a market for vagina-like items until I started poking around for my blog….but I digress.

Before I go any further, here’s what the seller had to say about it:
***TODAY (Dec. 9) IS THE LAST DAY to order Christmas *%#$@, &#$&@, (I REALLY had to censor that!) and pendants handmade by me before I shut down my shop for the rest of the year. With Christmas visitors now on the way, I am now unable to take additional orders past the 9th on made-to-order items. I am only making ONE MORE BATCH THIS YEAR, so get your order in now if you want one!***

Never another dull ornament exchange or Secret Santa game again. Something to be re-gifted year after year for added holiday fun!

Ah, the beauty of womanhood! Perfect as a OOAK (one of a kind) gag gift for that special someone, or to hang on the Christmas tree, office cubicle (or anywhere else you imagination come up with)!

(Just tell Grandma it’s a flower. Think Georgia O’Keefe!)

Ummm. Yeah. That’s what she’s selling (and another censored body part too) for you to hang on your tree this season.

You know what I hope? I hope Grandma knows exactly what that is  and embarrasses you in front of the entire family by proclaiming “Who the hell hangs a vagina on their Christmas tree?!?”.  Now that would be a Christmas memory that would be talked about for years to come.

As the seller stated, today is the LAST DAY she is making these classy ornaments, so if you want to order one, you have to get over to her shop on Etsy by midnight. She wants $29.99 for this. I don’t really foresee a stampede occurring here. I’m sure she will have plenty of time to spend with her “Christmas visitors” who are “on the way”, who clearly have no idea what an entrepreneur she really is.

Custom Vagina Ornament…That’s Shitsy!

 

 

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Bottle Opening Universal Remote


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Look at what I found on Pinterest today…The Bottle Opening Universal Remote!

Ladies, did you already buy your man a Christmas gift? You did? Well I hope you kept the receipt, because you need to return it, and get him this! This may be one of the greatest inventions EVER…that’s right, I said EVER!  A Universal remote that has a bottle opener on the side will make you the greatest gift giver in the history of gift giving to any man. He can sit in his chair, watch the game, change channels, and open his beer all at the same time.  Any man I know would call this gift a dream come true. The only thing that will make this a better gift is if you get him a mini-fridge to put next to his chair. That way you won’t have to grab him a beer “while you’re up”.  (This is my husband’s favorite move. Just looking out for you!)

If you’d like to be the wife or girlfriend he brags about this Christmas, head on over to Brookstone and order it! This awesome gift retails for $24.99, $12.99!!! Yes, it is currently half price!!! Even better! Take that other $12.49 and go buy yourself something pretty. You deserve it!

Bottle Opening Universal Remote…Completely Pinteresting!

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Hanukkah Card


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Look at what I found on Etsy today…A “Funny Hanukkah Card”…just in time to celebrate Hanukkah 2012!  They are $4.50 each, and there are only five in stock, so hurry up if you want one! Plus, you have 8 days for it to get to your house and to give it out!

Happy Hanukkah, my friends!

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