Hi everyone! I am finally back after a small hiatus and a nice, relaxing vacation in the tropics! Upon my return, I received an e-mail from one of my favorite bloggers, TheRoomMom alerting me to this unpinteresting item. I totally believe in giving credit where credit is due, so THANK YOU RoomMom for this striking accessory!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you Fart Be Gone Flatulence Deodorizing Pads! Yes, this is a real product! (I know…I thought it was a joke too!)
Are you sick and tired of having to breathe in the noxious fumes of that one person who has either has no control over their own personal gas valve, or just doesn’t care to? Whether they like to say such clever lines like “Pull my finger!”, “Is there an elephant under my chair?”, motion you over and whisper such loving words to you like “Smell that?”, or if they have no common courtesy whatsoever and just let them rip at will, this is the gift for that stinky tooter of yours!
Here’s a small description from the website I researched it on:
The Flatulence Deodorizer – Disposable is an activated charcoal cloth pad that is worn taped inside the underwear next to the buttocks. The wearer is virtually unaware of its presence because it thin and comfortable inside the undergarment. The activated carbon cloth pad is disposable so you can throw it away after use. (I’d be lying if I said I could actually picture any man using this!)
When intestinal gas is expelled the flatulence filter pad absorbs the gas odor normally associated with the gassy discharge or flatus.
No more smelly episodes, horrible flatulence odors, with these pads that are placed in your undergarment or panties. The flatulence deodorizer is like having on charcoal underwear and will eliminate your gas odors. There is no cure for flatulence but this is a simple solution for absorbing odor at the source.
You can get a reusable one (Yikes!) or you can just get the throwaway version. (I’m hoping people just go with the throw away…but maybe it’s just me! I mean, how do you know when it has officially run its course? I guess the stink returns?)
Anyway, you can go two ways with this…you can get a package of 10 pads for $29.95 or you can get a whole 30 day supply for $79.95.
But wait, there’s more…
Do you work with someone who lets ’em rip after lunch (or maybe you’re “that guy”)…well, the company goes one step further:
That, my friends is a “Safe Chair Pad Flatulence Controller”. This also retails for $29.99 (what a steal, huh?) and is “inconspicous” to your coworkers! It just looks like a nice mat for your chair…but lo and behold, you can fart your brains out all day long, and no one will be the wiser.
Here’s a review:
Comment on the Chair Pad:
I simply love it. It makes me feel comfortable in the fact that I can make all the noise I want when no one else is in my office and have no fear that anyone walking in afterwards will confront any embarrassing, ill odors of any sort. And believe me … with all the medications I’m currently on and with all of the people who come in and out of my office, that is a great weight off of my shoulders.
Pat F. Charleston, SC
Two things here:
1: If I see one of these at work, I will feel compelled to ask about their nice, new “chair mat”…just to see the answer I get.
2: I would hate to work with Pat. She is one sneaky bitch…happily making all that noise with no ill odors. I don’t think she can be trusted. (Yes, I really think Pat is a woman, because no man would write that!)
So there you have it….Farting solutions for the masses. Who knew such things existed. There are days that I think I am in the wrong line of work. I need to make crazy inventions and become a millionaire. I’m going to put that on my to-do list later on today!
If you’re in the market for such a product, you can head on over to flat-d, where you can find all kinds of special charcoal laden accessories for that stinky ass!
Fart Be Gone Undie Inserts and Chair Pad Flatulence Controllers…I dub thee Unpinteresting!