Monthly Archives: November 2013

Chicken Christmas Sweater


chicken

 

Look at what I found on Etsy today…a homemade crocheted Chicken Christmas Sweater! If you’ve been here before,then you know I have a small fascination with the things people come up with to crotchet. This is one I have never seen before! A Chicken Sweater? With a Christmas theme? Chickens need themed sweaters?!? Am I missing something here?

Now I tried to rationalize this in my mind as I sat and stared at it, but I couldn’t. Do chickens really get that cold? I live at the shore and know basically zero about chickens, but I have my doubts here. (If any of you know differently about this and would like to school me, please do!)  I look at this picture and picture someone ridiculously trying to “wrassle” their chicken into this while it squawks like it’s being killed for Sunday dinner.  Also,I notice this chicken in said sweater is on a table in the house. Is this normal chicken owning behavior?? People let chickens roam free in their homes? They’re not potty trained!!!  If so, why does the chicken even need a sweater? It’s inside where it’s warm, right? Sigh. I don’t get any of this!!

I bet you’re wondering what the top looks like, aren’t you? Well, here you go:

chicken2Apparently it snaps nicely around the chicken’s body for easy on, easy off.

If you’re in the market for a Chicken Christmas Sweater,then hustle on over to Etsy and snap this up because there’s only one in stock.  It retails for $17, which I guess is a good deal. (Truthfully, I have no idea what a Chicken Sweater should cost!)

Maybe this is something someone would like or find useful,but I’d be 100% lying if I said I fit into that category of people(or knew anyone who did), therefore…

Chicken Christmas Sweater…That’s Shitsy!

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!

Reason #1,345,872 That I Don’t Shop On Black Friday…


Courtesy of  News4  New York:

*What Had Happened Was…People are animals…

Black-Friday-Crowd

Shopper Pepper Sprayed, Arrested in Argument Over TV at New Jersey Walmart

Huge crowds turned out to get an early start on Black Friday shopping

A 29-year-old shopper was arrested Thursday in a New Jersey Walmart after arguing with a store manager about a TV and attacking an officer, police said.

Richard Ramos of Newark was charged with disorderly conduct, aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest, according to Garfield police.

Police working at the store on the busy shopping day were dealing with a separate altercation, where a woman in the infant section spit on another woman’s child. While issuing that suspect a summons, they heard a man nearby shouting obscenities.

When they tracked down the man, store security asked the officers to make the man to leave, police say.They tried to escort the man out, but he spun around and grabbed an officer’s shirt. As police tried to handcuff the suspect, he continued to struggle. According to the Star-Ledger, police eventually had to use pepper spray to subdue the man.

Ramos is scheduled to appear in court Friday, police said. It’s not known if he has an attorney. He’s being held at a Bergen County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Spitting on a child…the lowest form of low…and a great way to have your teeth knocked out!

Leave a comment

Filed under What Had Happened Was

Chimney Jesus


chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comments

Filed under Internet Scores

Roasted Turkey Crocheted Hat


turkey

Are you looking for the perfect hat to keep you warm while looking foodie fashionable? Look no further, my friends! I have found it for you, courtesy of Etsy! Now some of you may be thinking, “Oh great! Today is Thanksgiving!”  True, but if you come from a family that eats turkey on Christmas too, then you’re totally in business…or you could just order one in preparation for next year’s Thanksgiving feast…and you can spend today telling everyone, “Just wait until you see my awesomeness next year!”. That will give everyone something to look forward to, right? (If they’re drinking, they won’t remember, but whatever!)

If you’re interested in this crocheted turkey greatness, then head on over to Etsy, and snap yours up! There’s one for every size head, ranging from 0-3 months to adult-sized for $16. Turkey Hats for everyone!!

**On a serious note, I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving! May both your belly and heart be full today! Whether it is your first time here or you’ve read my blog before, I am thankful that you’ve stopped by! Enjoy your day!

12 Comments

Filed under Etsy

Need to Restore Your Faith in Humanity?


Although this blog is full of snark and sarcasm, I also have a brighter side…believe it or not. Haha. If you’d like to read  something uplifting once in a while, then head on over to my other brand new blog, Restoring Your Faith in Humanity. There’s plenty of bad news out there every single day, so why not read some good news for a change? I hope you all like it!

Leave a comment

Filed under Truth