Chimney Jesus


chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!

 

 

 

 

 

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Roasted Turkey Crocheted Hat


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Are you looking for the perfect hat to keep you warm while looking foodie fashionable? Look no further, my friends! I have found it for you, courtesy of Etsy! Now some of you may be thinking, “Oh great! Today is Thanksgiving!”  True, but if you come from a family that eats turkey on Christmas too, then you’re totally in business…or you could just order one in preparation for next year’s Thanksgiving feast…and you can spend today telling everyone, “Just wait until you see my awesomeness next year!”. That will give everyone something to look forward to, right? (If they’re drinking, they won’t remember, but whatever!)

If you’re interested in this crocheted turkey greatness, then head on over to Etsy, and snap yours up! There’s one for every size head, ranging from 0-3 months to adult-sized for $16. Turkey Hats for everyone!!

**On a serious note, I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving! May both your belly and heart be full today! Whether it is your first time here or you’ve read my blog before, I am thankful that you’ve stopped by! Enjoy your day!

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Need to Restore Your Faith in Humanity?


Although this blog is full of snark and sarcasm, I also have a brighter side…believe it or not. Haha. If you’d like to read  something uplifting once in a while, then head on over to my other brand new blog, Restoring Your Faith in Humanity. There’s plenty of bad news out there every single day, so why not read some good news for a change? I hope you all like it!

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Say It Ain’t So Mo!!! Thoughts From A Depressed Yankee Fan…


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Poo-Pourri Spray – Girls Don’t Poop


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There are about a million things I could say about this product, or you can just head over to Poo-pourri and check this all out for yourself!  Click on the video, and kick back for perhaps the greatest commercial ever….and no, it’s not a joke! Prices range from $25-$58 each depending on which package you choose and come with a stink-free guarantee.

Poo-Pourri…That’s Shitsy…just like they want it to be!

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Truth In Advertising


bike29n-1-web

What had happened was…well, just read the top ad posted in the Indiana Auto & RV classifieds and it tells the whole story. Personally, I think if you hurry up, you could probably get him down to $7500.00.  Clearly he’s going to need the money!

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Shittens…Yes, Shittens!


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I normally don’t do two posts in one day, but this was just too good to wait until tomorrow!!! In case you haven’t seen this on the web yet, let me be the first to introduce you to the absolute internet gold of “Shittens”.

Now,I know…you think this is a joke, right?? Well, it’s not. I researched it, and this fine product actually exists!

Here’s the sales pitch:

If there’s one great universal truth that we can all agree on, it’s this: No one wants poop on their hands.

And yet, we laugh carelessly in the face of danger every time we take an old fashioned wet wipe to our heinies, flying completely blind in the critical poop-to-hand spatial relation.

How many times have you taken one of those substandard wet wipes to the posterior of a child, risking major contamination from that flailing poop cloth? And how many times has your dog’s “number two” been a little closer to a number one “and a half”, requiring a deadly grab & pull maneuver with whatever’s laying around? Enough is enough!

With new Shittens, you can fully protect your hands while tending to the dirty deed.

Need more proof? Check out the Shittens  YouTube video!  That catchy little jingle is going to be in your head all day. You’re welcome!

If you want to order yourself a 20 pack of pre-moistened Shittens (I know some of you are actually thinking about it!), hoof it on over to the Shittens site, and get them for a mere $9.95.

Shittens….I have waited for over year for someone to not be totally insulted by it when I talk about their product and say “That’s Shitsy”!!!

resell (1)PS – I clearly have no aspirations of getting Freshly Pressed with this post!

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