Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Fiji Mermaid Vintage Baby Doll Dangle. (Try to contain your excitement!)
I do not get the whole little plastic baby doll crammed into things trend. Is it just me, or is it odd? I never liked these freaky little dolls when I was a kid, and I most certainly don’t like them now either. I remember having some of these in a larger version in my room as a kid and being totally freaked out by them because I felt like they were watching me. Creepy…just plain creepy.
Anyway…here’s the seller’s big “selling points” as to why you should shell out $24.00 (plus shipping) for this…
Have you ever heard the story of Barnum and Bailey’s notorious Fiji Mermaid? The exhibit was a famous fake, featuring the top half of a monkey and the bottom of a fish. This version is decidedly cuter with a baby doll instead.
This playful, yet macabre pendant evokes images of mid-century traveling carnival side shows and eerie seaside promenades. Has it been tucked away in a curio boutique, away from prying eyes? Or locked in a keepsake box for safety? Take home this Fiji Mermaid and spark endless questions from your friends.
A few things here:
1. Why do people love the whole side-show kitsch thing? There’s a reason they stopped the freak/side shows…people became intelligent enough to know they were a sham. If you want to see some freaks, just head on down to your local WalMart. The freaks are there in droves. I”ve seen a bearded lady or two in mine…but I digress.
2. It’s a dangle in case you missed that. It comes on a large crappy chain (that is guaranteed to turn your neck green) to dangle around your neck. Um, no.
3. “Take home this Fiji Mermaid and spark endless questions from your friends.” Here’s how the endless questions from your friends will go:
Friend: “Hey, what the hell is that creepy thing you’ve got there?”
You: “Oh, it’s a one of a kind (OK, really two of a kind, because there’s two in stock) Fiji Mermaid Vintage Baby Doll Dangle, that I scored on Etsy!”
Friend: “Scored, huh? What’d you pay for that colossal piece of shit?”
You: “I got a good deal on it! It only cost me $24.00 plus $6.00 shipping!” (Unless you’re from Canada, in which case you can tack on an extra buck….or anywhere else in the world, an extra $3.00)
Friend: “You paid a grand total of $30.00 for that? Are you out of your mind?!?”
Then said friend would tell the rest of your friends what a jackass you are for spending $30.00 on this thing…thus sparking the endless questions the seller speaks of.
Personally, I say you save the $30.00 for something better, and save yourself the hassle of the endless questions about it. If your friends are anything like mine, they’ll always find something else to
bust your chops endlessly question you about soon enough anyway. You don’t need to dangle this as bait for them. (Do you see what I did there?)
Fiji Mermaid Vintage Baby Doll Dangle…That’s Shitsy!
By the way, my 11 year old daughter just walked in, saw this on the screen and said “What the heck is that? A plastic baby doll crammed in a fishing lure? Is someone selling that? It’s stupid!”…and promptly walked away with a “Hmmmmph” over her shoulder as she left the room. Atta girl!