Tag Archives: Black Friday

Reason #1,345,872 That I Don’t Shop On Black Friday…

Courtesy of  News4  New York:

*What Had Happened Was…People are animals…


Shopper Pepper Sprayed, Arrested in Argument Over TV at New Jersey Walmart

Huge crowds turned out to get an early start on Black Friday shopping

A 29-year-old shopper was arrested Thursday in a New Jersey Walmart after arguing with a store manager about a TV and attacking an officer, police said.

Richard Ramos of Newark was charged with disorderly conduct, aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest, according to Garfield police.

Police working at the store on the busy shopping day were dealing with a separate altercation, where a woman in the infant section spit on another woman’s child. While issuing that suspect a summons, they heard a man nearby shouting obscenities.

When they tracked down the man, store security asked the officers to make the man to leave, police say.They tried to escort the man out, but he spun around and grabbed an officer’s shirt. As police tried to handcuff the suspect, he continued to struggle. According to the Star-Ledger, police eventually had to use pepper spray to subdue the man.

Ramos is scheduled to appear in court Friday, police said. It’s not known if he has an attorney. He’s being held at a Bergen County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Spitting on a child…the lowest form of low…and a great way to have your teeth knocked out!


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Chimney Jesus

chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!







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Ryan Gosling as a Slice of Everything Pizza

Looking for a Christmas gift for that special someone? Well look no further, because look at what I found on Etsy today…Ryan Gosling as a Slice of Everything Pizza.

I’m sure you know someone who loves Ryan Gosling. I mean, who hasn’t seen The Notebook?

I’m sure you know someone who loves everything pizza. I mean, who doesn’t love everything pizza? It’s a total crowd pleaser, and you can always just pick off the items you don’t like, or just eat it as it is, in all of it’s glory!

I’m sure you know someone who loves both Ryan Gosling AND everything pizza. I mean, that’s one hell of a combo right there!

If so, why not make your way on over to Etsy and buy this for that person with impeccable taste? It retails for $40.00 plus $5.00 shipping. Unfortunately there is no Christmas deal on this one, but hey, isn’t your Ryan Gossling/pizza with everything loving,  special someone, worth it?

Ryan Gosling as a Slice of Everything Pizza…That’s Shitsy!

PS – I am not down with his crooked eyes. He’s been in the running for “World’s Sexiest Man’ quite a few times. The man has eyes that are even on his face, so why aren’t they in this painting? Sigh.

PPS – I wonder if Ryan Gosling knows this fine piece of art work exists?

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Uterus and Vagina Crochet Plush


Look at what else I found on Etsy today… A Uterus and Vagina Crochet Plush with Fallopian Tubes, Ovaries, and Vaginal Canal! (I really should just start a separate section on my blog for crocheted nuclear bombs, because I have no problem locating them!)

Now, who exactly do you give this to for Christmas…aside from someone you know who is an OB-GYN? Even then, it’s a bad idea…and any other person you would give this to, I don’t even want to know about.

Here’s what the seller had to say about it:

Vagina, vaginal canal, cervix, uterus, Fallopian tubes and ovaries. Yes, it kind of looks like an alien bunny rabbit. But it’s also cuddly, non-threateningly educational, and hilarious. 

This is where crocheted babies come from.


By the way, you don’t have to buy it as the whole piece either. You can buy the uterus and Fallopian tubes OR the vagina separately…because what if someone doesn’t want the whole thing? How thoughtful on the seller’s part.

If you would like to purchase this item, it’ll run you $32.00 plus $3.00 shipping….unless you just want the uterus/Fallopian tubes combo, which will run you $20.00…OR…just the vagina, which will run you $15.00.  Look at that, you save $3.00 if you buy the combo! Again…thoughtful.

Nothing screams “Merry Christmas” quite like this gift does!

Uterus and Vagina Crochet Plush…That’s Shitsy!


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Black Friday Chaos


See this? This is exactly why I will NEVER go out shopping on Black Friday! People are completely out of their minds! There is no deal worth the violence that comes with it. Here are just a few of many stories from around the web showing how low people will stoop to save a few bucks:

*San Antonio man pulls gun over line cutting.

*$2.00 Waffle maker riot in Little Rock Arkansas. (C’mon…how many waffle makers do you really need?)

*Full scale riot over cameras and smart phones in GA

*Two people shot in Florida over a parking spot.

*14 year old robbed outside of Bed, Bath and Beyond near Baltimore. (This I’m not shocked by! Baltimore is one scary city, and my least favorite place to go!)

*Man threatens to stab everyone in line at KMart. (I won’t even watch this video, but you can if you want to. I think the story is enough!)

and finally, my personal favorite: Massachusetts man takes home TV, leaves 2 year old behind. That one just takes the cake! I guess it’s hard to hold a child’s hand and hold a 51 inch flat screen at the same time….so he leaves him there, never looks for him, and goes home. What a *&%$#@*%!!!!

These stories get worse every single year.

Disgusting…simply disgusting.

Here’s an idea…just stay home people.  Wait for another day. The sales will be there until Christmas if you pay attention. The above mentioned garbage just isn’t worth saving a few bucks.



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Copper Jello Mold Wind Chime…

Look at this sweet Black Friday gift idea I found on Etsy today…A Copper Jello Mold Wind Chime with Christmas Cookie Cutters and Beads! (Whew, that’s a long name!)

A few things here…

First of all, what exactly possesses someone to come up with this collection of items to make into a wind chime? Was she staring at her dessert making items right before Thanksgiving and thought “Heyyyy! Who needs to make desserts when I can make my dessert making tools into a wind chime?” It would totally get her out of making the obligatory holiday desserts, but it makes for one Shitsy wind chime! Using Christmas cookie cutters to create a chiming sound? Really? You know what she’s going to do here, right? She’s going to make these for every single holiday she can get cookie cutters for and sell them on Etsy…or try to sell them, I should say.

Secondly, what exactly does one say when they open up their Christmas gift and sees this monstrosity staring back at them? I think I would just hold it up in a stunned silence, and let everyone else in the room add their own witty comments. It would just be easier that way.

If you would like to adorn your front porch or back deck with this beauty, you’ll need to pony up $25.00 plus $6.50 in shipping costs, and click on her item like a champion, because this is the only one in stock…shocker, I know.

Copper Jello Mold Wind Chime with Christmas Cookie Cutters and Beads…That’s Shitsy!

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Pet Sitter “To Dog” List

Look at this Black Friday deal I found on Etsy today…A Pet Sitter notepad! Let me tell you something…I love my two dogs, but this is just overboard! You have to be the biggest pain in the ass on Earth to pet sit for if you leave this for someone to read and follow!! “Houses To Avoid”? “Grooming”? “Rooms Off Limits”?  Are you kidding me?!? And what the hell is with the “Household Tasks” section??? Unless your dog is a magician and is going to complete those awesome “household tasks” like mail and trash, that shouldn’t even be on there.

You know what I ask my friends to do for my dogs on the rarity that I think they can’t make it while I’m out? I ask them to come over, open my back door so they can go out, and let them back in!  That is IT!!! They won’t even eat if I’m not home! If I left this on the counter, I would get a list back telling me all of the things I could go do to myself and how, waiting for me when I got home.

However, if you are a picky pain in the ass and feel the need to buy this, it retails for $14.00 plus $2.00 shipping. There’s only three in stock, so as always, hurry the hell up!

Pet Sitter “To Dog” List…That’s Shitsy!

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