Tag Archives: cats

Cat Pajamas


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Look at what I found on Etsy today…Cat Pajamas!  Coolcats Polkadot Fleece Pajamas, to be exact.

In case you’re new to my blog, I have a fascination with the things people will buy for their cats. (Examples include “Your Cat Hates This Shitsy Tie, Cat Toy Tampon, and The Desktop Cat Seat…just to name a few.) I just do not get some of the things “cat people” really think their pets  need.  (I say “pets” because lots of cat people have more than one. No offense cat owners, it’s just my personal observation.)

Anyway…

Let me tell you a little something…I don’t think your cat wants to wear pajamas. I think this would be a total sensory overload for it. Would someone make this a nightly ritual?  “Hey Mr. Meow Meow…it’s jammy time!” I think it’ll take off like a bat out of hell once it catches on to that sentence. Besides, how cold is your cat really going to get? Seriously. There’s a ton of stray cats in my neighborhood, (Thanks a lot jerk neighbor who just keeps feeding them!) and they seem to survive the Jersey climate just fine without wearing pajamas! Your cat would be in your house! Your house has heat, doesn’t it? Your cat really needs to toughen the hell up! If it accidentally gets out,  it’ll never make it. It is going to get it’s ass kicked by the neighborhood strays, and you’ll only have yourself to blame because of things like this!

Well, if you think your cat just has to have these, ( He doesn’t. I’m telling you.)  then pussy-foot on over to Etsy, plunk down $24, and you’ll be dressing your angry, yowling cat just in time for Christmas! I suggest only attempting that with a de-clawed cat, but do what you want….it’s your cat  (and skin), not mine.

Cat Fleece Pajamas…I really, really don’t get it…therefore, That’s Shitsy!

PS- The generic footer on my blog is “This WordPress site is the cat’s pajamas”. Well, now it really is!

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Original Pet Portrait Illustration


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Look at what I found on Etsy today…an “Original Pet Portrait Illustration” .

Before I give my thoughts, here’s what the seller has to say about it:

Do you love your pet?
get an original portrait illustrated by (Illustrator’s name edited)
I will illustrate any type of pet. Please look at the samples. 
Will be drawn on a 8.5in x 11in bienfang gridded paper 
the lines one the bienfang gridded paper are blue instead of gray. 
Once you place you order I will email you asking for a good head shot portrait photo of your pet. 
The bigger the better so that I can get every detail.

I’m sorry, but who in their right mind would buy this?

Why is that cat’s head on a horribly drawn body with a very ill fitting bikini top? Why are the breasts drawn so far apart? Is the cat an alley cat that hooks in the wee hours of the evening while the owner is asleep?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but the whole graph paper thing is a giant no-go for me. Does it really even matter if the lines are blue or gray? Is the paper really going to be three hole punched like that? If so, are you supposed to put it in a binder and carry it around instead of displaying it? (Why would you display this anyway?)

Cat owners…apparently, you are a large market…so, would any of you actually purchase this?  I’m going to assume no…but if I am wrong, please let me know, and please explain yourself so I can attempt to understand this.

This retails for $20.00, and it even comes with a “surprise drawing as a free gift“.  (God knows what the hell that could be of.) The seller also states she has 18 in stock.  Now, didn’t she say she would do a drawing of your pet for you? Maybe one of those other 18 is the free gift you’ll be getting! Just what you need…two of these!

Original Pet Portrait Illustration…That’s Shitsy!

____________________________________________________

***It’s Abode or Commode Time!!****

Do you think this is home worthy or should it go straight in the shitter? Cast your vote and leave your comments below! I’d love to hear from you!

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Cats Are The Center Of The Universe Hat!


Look at what I found on Etsy today…A Cats Are The Center Of The Universe Hat!!! If you’ve ever read my blog before, you know I am a sucker for ridiculous items people buy for their cats! This baby isn’t even a Black Friday deal…it’s just too bananas not to post!

Cat owners…help me out here please! Why in the hell, of all gifts, would you buy this for your cat? Cats don’t like hats!!! They don’t! Please see Exhibit A: My post Hats For Cats! They HATE hats!!! None of those cats look happy to me! What about the cat above? Does Mr. Notso Fluffy look happy to you? Does he look like he wants the solar system circling his head? No, he most certainly does not! Sheesh!

Here’s what the seller had to say about it:

Your cat knows that it is center of the universe– time to let it know you’re in on the joke! This cat fascinator is a model of our solar system with nine planets attached to the “sun” (cat hat base). This fascinator is for the extremely patient kitty like Notso Fluffy— he will tolerate anything being put on his head and is still for the process. This hat is not meant to be left on kitty’s head for action sequences or for periods of time over a few minutes. 

Planets are made from Styrofoam  painted with acrylic paint and finished with a touch of glitter. They attach to the base using wire which is implanted into more Styrofoam to protect kitty’s head. It is lined with some groovy felt! The cat hat balances well on the back of kitty’s head; using the elastic helps to keep it all in place for short periods of time.

Ah, the word “fascinator” does not even come up with a correct spelling on my spell check…I think she made it up…and no shit that it shouldn’t be left on your kitty’s head for periods of time over a few minutes. How about, it shouldn’t be put your on kitty’s head at.all.ever?!?

People that put hats on their cats are crazy.

If you’re crazy, then shuffle on over to Etsy, pay the seller $25.00 plus $10.00 shipping, and look forward to having one miserable cat that hates you on your hands in the near future.

Cats Are The Center Of The Universe Hat…That’s Shitsy!

(Poor Mr. Notso Fluffy! If I wasn’t allergic to cats, I would drive up to Boston and rescue this poor little bastard from his life of misery. He’d be so much happier in my non-cat-hat-wearing home!)

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The Desktop Cat Seat


Look at what I found on Pinterest today…a Desktop Cat Seat. I am starting to think I should just make a separate section on my blog about crazy items cat people will buy, because I keep on finding things like this. (If you haven’t read them, please refer to my other posts: Crafting With Cat Hair, Cat Toy Tampon,  and Hats For Cats.)

Anyway, I see this pinned a whole bunch of times on Pinterest and feel the need to investigate further. I found it on the Brookstone  site and apparently this is a HOT seller because it’s totally out of stock! (C’mon…really cat people?!?)

Here’s the exciting description of the product:

Our Desktop Cat Seat gives cats a comfortable place to rest on the desk that’s out of the way, yet still only an arm’s length from a scratch on the belly. Designed for cat owners who work in a home or small office, this indispensable item maintains that all-important distance between paws and keyboard, while giving your cat a cozy nesting box that’s still within easy reach of affection. The soft cushion and high walls will appeal to your cats, while you’ll appreciate the solid pine construction in a choice of attractive finishes. It can be clamped firmly to either side of the desk, or simply placed flat on top–felt pads protect your furniture. Can support a 20-lb. cat, and even small dogs. Cushion cover is machine-washable. 16 1/4″ w x 11″ d x 5″ h.

The people’s comments about the product cracked me up:

*My cat loves this! Now I can get work done! My other cat is jealous, so I’ll have to get another one! (Wait, your cat stops you from doing work? Your other cat is actually jealous? You’re going to have them sit like bookends on your desk while you work on your computer? Wow, your life is way too exciting for me!)

*I have several cats and they actually fight over who gets to lay in it! Sometimes they even double up! (Once I read the words “several cats”, I knew this would be a winner!)

*Our cats always seem to lay on the mouse pad, making work difficult. This gives them a new spot to hang out! It took them a week to use it. (Hey, here’s a thought, shoo the damn cats off your desk when you’re working! Problem solved!)

The comments go on and on, but you get the point. Cat people love this silly product.

Oh, did I mention that it retails for $70.00? Yeah, that’s right…$70.00 so your kitty cat has a place to lay, other than directly on your desk, while you get something accomplished. I cannot believe it. Whatever happened to that free spot on the windowsill? God forbid Sir Fluffy Pain-in-the-Ass should have to suffer the indignity of that, huh?

Maybe it’s because I am a dog person, but I cannot fathom any of this. Cat people let their cats rule the roost, and then buy items like this to perpetuate it. Do you know where my dogs are laying right now, while I type this blog post? They are in the hallway. They don’t feel the need to be up my ass every second of the day, and they most certainly do not get on my desk or countertops. No dog will need a special $70.00 place to lay so they can be close to you. Dogs make themselves comfortable wherever is easiest.  Dogs know their place in life, and cats don’t. That’s just how it is.

So there you have it…Desktop Cat Seat…I dub thee Unpinteresting, and a complete waste of $70.00.

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Crafting With Cat Hair


Look at what I found on Etsy today…Crafting With Cat Hair, which was actually even featured on their “How Tuesday” blog. Not only that, but I found items for sale that people have made using their cat’s hair. I cannot believe there is a market for this, but apparently there is. I don’t own a cat because I am allergic to all of their damn hair that gets everywhere…and I’m not a huge fan of cats anyway, but to think that people actually collect their cat’s hair and use it to make things is mind blowing to me!

In researching this, I have found that the most common ‘craft” people make from their cat’s hair is a tiny little cat finger puppet. I will just give you my own quick overview:

1. Collect cat hair. (That shouldn’t be hard to do since they shed like it’s their  job! However, if you really want the good stuff, you should brush your cat, or so they say.)

2. Make a tiny double template shaped like a cat out of cardboard and wrap it with packing tape, to keep it dry. (You’ll see why…)

3. Wrap the template in cat hair and wet it using hot water and dish detergent. (It’s gonna get clumpy)

4. Let it dry, and decorate as you see fit.

That, my friends, is a finished product some woman made for one of her co-workers and left on his keyboard for him. She states he isn’t a car lover, but really liked it. Let me just say this…if I worked with this lady and she left me a homemade cat hair finger puppet on my desk, she would be choking it up as a hairball because I would shove it right down her throat.

Moving on…

I continued to scour Etsy and learned that cat hair jewelry is chic…and by chic I mean disgusting, yet still for sale. Enjoy:

Yes cat lovers, for $35 you too can have earrings made from your cat’s hair. Here’s what the seller has to say:

– Contact me when you are ready to begin.
– Mail me your cat’s hair, approx. two or three good handfuls. 
( I will email my address to you )
– Give me 1 to 2 weeks to create the earrings.
– When I have finished, I will post them as: RESERVED FOR 
(your cat’s name).

Gahhhhh! Two or three good handfuls of your cat’s hair? Gahhhh!

You know you need a matching necklace, right? Well here ya go.

You better get a few more handfuls of your cat’s hair because those balls on the necklace are pretty big. You better dig a little deeper into your piggy bank too, because she is charging $150.00 for that! (Yes, I said $150.00!)

What? You want a cat hair necklace that is a little more snazzy? Fear not, there’s more to choose from! You are going to have to dig even deeper into your pockets though. By the way, your peasant cat’s hair is not good enough for the making of any of the following. These are made with her purebred ragamuffin cat’s hair. Ooooooo!

Oberon Cat Hair Neck Sculpture. – $220.00.

Wire Caged Felted Cat Hair Pendant – $220.00

Bubbles Sculptural Felted Cat Hair Neckpiece – $220.00

I’m loving her description:

What to wear to that gala musical event or
to your friends art opening? This necklace. 

This is a conversational piece in its own right with its 
white soft “puffs” and shimmering wire wrapped leather. 
It is substantial yet sits lightly on your chest.
And, those puffs of fluff? Felted cat hair!

Oh, and she “knows it is tempting to touch and stroke the soft hair orbs, but, they will stay clean and maintain their shape if touching is left to a minimum!”   Come on now, you know everyone is going to want to touch that. OK  nobody is really going to want to touch that, but the wacky wearer would totally ask people to. “You have to pet my cat hair necklace! It’s so soft!” ((shudder))

…and finally for the people who may not have over $200.00 to spend, but want some bang for their buck…

Cat Hair Necklace – $130.00. Felted puffs .5 – 1 inch in size.

I think I feel hives forming on my neck just by having posted that!

So there you have it…a book on how to make crafts from your very own cat hair, a quick tutorial for a cat hair finger puppet, and some exquisite cat hair jewelry. I had no idea anything like the aforementioned even existed before today, and now I think true “cat people” are even crazier than I ever did before. It’s just too bizarre for me!

I have two dogs, and I sweep up their hair non-stop because it drives me crazy. I cannot fathom doing anything with it besides throwing it out while mumbling curses about how much they shed! I also keep a lint roller handy at all times because I cannot stand to look down and see any of their hair on my clothes. The thought of crafting their hair into a friggin puppet or wearing it as jewelry is beyond comprehension.

I will have you know that I was a giant bundle of itchy the entire time I wrote this post, and had to stop typing every few minutes to scratch myself a little bit. I may need to take some Benedryl in a minute because my skin is crawling!! Damn you crazy cat hair crafters…damn you.

Crafting With Cat Hair…That’s Shitsy!

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Cat Toy Tampon


 

Look at what I found on Etsy today under weird pet toys…a Cat Toy Tampon with Catnip. Well, they did get the weird part.

Here’s what the seller had to say about it:

Now aunt Flo can visit your cat every day.
Make every day that play time of the month.
PMS = playful meow syndrome.
Your cat may hate water but I bet it will love the red tide.

I have to say that I might be rendered speechless if I went to someone’s house and saw their cat playing with this, but in reading people’s comments (My fave being “bloody cute!”) I believe that is the purpose of it.  She seems to have sold quite a few, so apparently there is a market for this. If you want one, there are five in stock, and they retail for $10.00 each. I’ll have to pass.

Cat Toy Tampon…That’s Shitsy!

 

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Patchwork Kitty Pillow


Look at what I found on Etsy today…a Patchwork Kitty Pillow.  What a disaster this thing is, huh? I get the whole patchwork thing, but there is way too much going on here and it actually is painful to look at. I feel like I need to go to the eye doctor after staring at this! The seller must have taken every last little stinking scrap she had laying around and sewn them together to make it. What a bad case of “waste not, want not” this is. She should sell it under the name “Shitty Kitty”! It would be a much more accurate description.

The seller describes her creation as follows:

Patchwork Kitty Pillow with Ragged Edges in Pink Floral Colors with Acrylic Navette and Quarter Moon Rhinestone Eyes That Sparkle & Pipe Cleaner Whiskers That Glitter. She is stuffed about 3 1/2″ thick and is 16 1/2″ tall by 12″ wide. Her 3’D tail curls in a near heart shape. Her pink felt heart nose is a embroidered on with a blanket stitch.

Thank God she gave such a descriptive detail because I wouldn’t be able to make out the differences in what she used. I had to actually stare at it in order to see the 3-D tail curling into a near heart shape. Also, she really went full board with the pipe cleaner whiskers, didn’t she? They are flat out awful, if you ask me. They’re all over the place. I don’t know any cats with funky whiskers like that, do you? I cannot even remotely tell that they are glittery, but the seller swears they are.  The pillow is a whopping 3 1/2 inches thick…what the hell am I going to do with such a thin pillow? I’d be better off resting my head on my arm…and the pipe cleaners may slice my cheek open anyway. The ends look a little frayed, so I’m guessing they’re sharp. Maybe that’s why she says this isn’t especially good for children. I don’t really think it’s good for anyone, especially someone who hasn’t had a tetanus shot recently!

This fine specimen retails for $29.00 (Yeah, I couldn’t believe that either!), and there’s only one in stock (shocker) so you need to HURRY UP if you want this gracing your humble abode! Actually, I am pretty sure you can take your sweet nature time going over to the site to order it, because I don’t foresee this going anywhere anytime soon.

Patchwork Kitty Pillow…That’s Shitsy!

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