Tag Archives: fashion

Cat Pajamas


catpjs

Look at what I found on Etsy today…Cat Pajamas!  Coolcats Polkadot Fleece Pajamas, to be exact.

In case you’re new to my blog, I have a fascination with the things people will buy for their cats. (Examples include “Your Cat Hates This Shitsy Tie, Cat Toy Tampon, and The Desktop Cat Seat…just to name a few.) I just do not get some of the things “cat people” really think their pets  need.  (I say “pets” because lots of cat people have more than one. No offense cat owners, it’s just my personal observation.)

Anyway…

Let me tell you a little something…I don’t think your cat wants to wear pajamas. I think this would be a total sensory overload for it. Would someone make this a nightly ritual?  “Hey Mr. Meow Meow…it’s jammy time!” I think it’ll take off like a bat out of hell once it catches on to that sentence. Besides, how cold is your cat really going to get? Seriously. There’s a ton of stray cats in my neighborhood, (Thanks a lot jerk neighbor who just keeps feeding them!) and they seem to survive the Jersey climate just fine without wearing pajamas! Your cat would be in your house! Your house has heat, doesn’t it? Your cat really needs to toughen the hell up! If it accidentally gets out,  it’ll never make it. It is going to get it’s ass kicked by the neighborhood strays, and you’ll only have yourself to blame because of things like this!

Well, if you think your cat just has to have these, ( He doesn’t. I’m telling you.)  then pussy-foot on over to Etsy, plunk down $24, and you’ll be dressing your angry, yowling cat just in time for Christmas! I suggest only attempting that with a de-clawed cat, but do what you want….it’s your cat  (and skin), not mine.

Cat Fleece Pajamas…I really, really don’t get it…therefore, That’s Shitsy!

PS- The generic footer on my blog is “This WordPress site is the cat’s pajamas”. Well, now it really is!

1 Comment

Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!

No More Panty Lines


strapless_panty_black

Cyber Monday Alert for the ladies…Strapless panties.  (Yeah, that’s a new one by me too!)

Apparently it sticks to your lady parts via adhesive, so you don’t have unsightly panty lines, noticeable swamp ass, or the dreaded whale tail.

I’m just going to let you read a review before I post my own thoughts on this…

Basically, the Shibue Strapless Panty was really easy to put on. You stick on the front, and then the back. I have really sensitive skin, so I was worried the adhesive would bother it, but it never did. The panty ended up being quite comfortable. I was also worried that going to the bathroom would be a pain, but it was very easy to get the panty off and back on again. I was quite surprised with how well it actually worked. However, it seemed to start to not re-apply well when doing anything that caused a good amount of sweating, so I wouldn’t recommend them for any really active activity where you’re going to be sweating a lot. You can get it to re-apply in that case, by drying off the area first, but if you’re going to be continually sweating, it can be a bit of a hassle.

Overall, I think the Shibue Couture Strapless Panty is a great alternative for women who don’t want panty lines, or would otherwise go without panties altogether. It’s really easy to use, and re-usable, and is great for any occasion where panty lines are an issue.

Now…a few things here…

#1. I don’t care what this lady says…adhesive stuck to your lady parts cannot be all that comfortable….and I have a hard time believing it peels off as gently and easily as advertised.

#2.  It’s washable and reusable? How the heck is there any adhesive left once you wash it? Is the adhesive actually velcro-like? Now that really can’t be comfortable!

#3.  If you get sweaty, it doesn’t work as well. OK,  sweatiness is a no go, but you can wash it and it still works? Huh?

Here’s my take…either put on a thong or go commando. Either of those has to be better than this.

I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I’m not really down with this.

However, if this is something you’re interested in because you would like adhesive stuck to your lady parts, then by all means head over to Shibue and order yours for $15…or you can head over to Amazon and get a whole big multi-pack that also includes pasties for between $30-$150.

Shibue Strapless Panties…I just can’t bring myself to call you an Internet Score.

1 Comment

Filed under Amazon Treasures, Internet Scores

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit


Red-Santa-Claus-Lycra-Spandex-Unisex-Zentai-Suit-141790-5

 

Would you like to put an image in children’s minds that would possibly scar them forever? Perhaps a really bratty niece or nephew? How about that annoying neighborhood kid that gets under your skin all year long? (There’s always one!)

Do you have some sweet paunch that could fill this out in a horrific manner? (I mean, really…who do you know that could perfectly fill this out?)

Do you want to absolutely destroy the upcoming Christmas party you really don’t even want to go to?

Do you not mind lycra vacuum sealed across your face?  (It is a good idea to disguise your face if you’re going to wear this!)

If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned queries, or came up with your own reason (I won’t judge!), then hustle your holly jolly ass over to milanoo.com, and for $52.99, you’ll be able to  squeeze yourself into this bad boy before you know it! (If you do, can you please send pics so I can enjoy your brazenness!) By the way, it’s unisex. (Seriously ladies…NO! Let the men poorly rock this!)

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit…total Internet Score!!

Leave a comment

Filed under Internet Scores

Chimney Jesus


chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comments

Filed under Internet Scores

Roasted Turkey Crocheted Hat


turkey

Are you looking for the perfect hat to keep you warm while looking foodie fashionable? Look no further, my friends! I have found it for you, courtesy of Etsy! Now some of you may be thinking, “Oh great! Today is Thanksgiving!”  True, but if you come from a family that eats turkey on Christmas too, then you’re totally in business…or you could just order one in preparation for next year’s Thanksgiving feast…and you can spend today telling everyone, “Just wait until you see my awesomeness next year!”. That will give everyone something to look forward to, right? (If they’re drinking, they won’t remember, but whatever!)

If you’re interested in this crocheted turkey greatness, then head on over to Etsy, and snap yours up! There’s one for every size head, ranging from 0-3 months to adult-sized for $16. Turkey Hats for everyone!!

**On a serious note, I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving! May both your belly and heart be full today! Whether it is your first time here or you’ve read my blog before, I am thankful that you’ve stopped by! Enjoy your day!

12 Comments

Filed under Etsy

Posh Puppy Purses


16.1n011.dog--300x300

Attention tiny dog owners!!!If you have been so gauche as to actually walk your little smooshy-face on a leash on the mean streets of Manhattan, then you are sooooo out of the loop. If you don’t want your high class friends to drop you like yesterday’s news, then you need the Puppy Purse! You know Sir Smooshy-Face is far too good to let his little tootsies actually touch the pavement where the rest of the heathens walk! Perish the thought, you awful dog owner you! If you’re not carrying  in him in this contraption, or God forbid carrying him in a designer tote bag (which is so last year!) then the rich, snooty dog police may have to give you a citation and seize that little pooch from the life of horror it obviously has been enduring in your care!

Doesn’t he look comfortable? (Um, no he does not!) Well he should be comfortable while he is dangled precariously from that leather strapped harness giving his legs nowhere to go but to float freely in the air as you stroll down Park Avenue. Just make sure your dog is 6 pounds or under, because otherwise it won’t work out. Does that even really need to be said? Come on now, everyone knows the ultra rich only own dogs that small. You can’t possible have a 7 pound dog in your penthouse apartment! It goes against the rules of life, don’t you know!

If you’re looking to transport your own Sir Smoooshy-Face in the most glamorous way possible, you are too late to get one at the PetCo on the Upper West Side. They sold out like hotcakes. (I’m having a hard even picturing the ultra rich ever setting foot in a PetCo!) Fret not though, my snobby friends, because you can browse through a vast selection of Puppy Purses at BitchNewYork.com! Prices range from $66 – $100.00.  Anyone whose anyone buys the $100 Pink Biker Baby Puppy Purse, of course!

I’d keep going, but I must go walk my two giant mastiffs on their leashes now. If they only knew what a low rent owner they really had, huh? Sigh, such white trash we are in this house.

4 Comments

Filed under Internet Scores, What Had Happened Was

Seaside Heights Chic


il_570xN.404278813_4ur6

Look at what I found on Etsy today…some “Sexy Cut-Up Leggings” aka Seaside Heights Chic …just in time for your summer visit to the boardwalk!

I am fortunate enough to live at the beautiful Jersey Shore. In fact, I live very close to Seaside Heights. Now most of you know of it from “The Jersey Shore” which did a fantastic job of incorrectly depicting what it’s like here. Granted, the Seaside Boardwalk has always been a great place to people watch, but thanks to that show, even bigger droves of morons have found their way here. Those droves go out of their way to live up to the stereotype that all of us that actually live here hate. The only place in Ocean County that you can see complete idiocy is up on those boards, done by people who come down for vacation. The locals are NOTHING like that.

That being said, I did find some leggings for you to wear up on the boardwalk if you’d like to fit in with the other attention seeking jackasses.

Here’s what the seller had to say about them:

WARNING CUT UP AND SHREDDED LEGGINGS / TIGHTS : Upon stepping into The Wild Painted leggings I immediately feel more confident, sexy and powerful. I am giving you this warning because I believe you will feel the same way. I love clothes that feel good against my skin, accentuate my shape and just feel good to wear.

OK,YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ,PLEASE WEAR THE WILD WITH CAUTION
The Wild leggings are highly addictive by nature and wearing them is known to be extremely habit forming. Due to the amount of attention and compliments you will receive when wearing The Wild, I must inform you that, I can be held responsible for your desire to wear you’re leggings constantly, feel amazing and even start a collection of statement leg wear from The Wild.

LIKE THE BEAST OF THE WILD:
These Leggings cannot be tamed. Every pair of The Wild leggings is made to order and even though it is the same species no two pairs will look exactly alike (that just the nature of the Beast a.k.a 4TheWild Leggings). 

I created the wild Leggings to show off a women’s curves size small -3x, with styles that take you from day to night.

A few quick things:

*If you are a 3X, you probably shouldn’t be wearing these…although on the boardwalk, these would be a big hit with the 3x crowd.

*If you do wear them, PLEASE PLEASE wear them on a day when the tanning index is a 10. Imagine how hot your naturally patterned legs will look at night when you go out in that ill fitting mini-dress you packed? You will turn heads girl, trust me.

So, if you’ve got Seaside Heights in your plans this summer, and you want to let us all know that you 100% do not live here, head on over to Etsy, and snag yourself a pair of these “sexy” leggings for a mere $42.00! Not for nothing, but $42.00 seems kind of steep for that little material. It must be the workmanship you’re paying for.

Hopefully I will see you strutting your stuff on the boardwalk. I’ll be the one on the bench cracking up as you saunter on by.

Sexy Cut-Up Leggings…That’s Shitsy!

Leave a comment

Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!