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Not Your Typical Baby Shower Game…


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Ladies, unless the baby shower is for you, your sister, or your best friend, you know you roll your eyes a little bit every time you get an invitation for one. They are definitely more fun than bridal showers, but by the time of cake is served, the last gift is opened, and the adorable mother-to-be poses in her hat made of bows, you know you are mentally figuring out just how much longer you have to sit there before you can make your escape. C’mon…you know this is the truth.

Ladies, you also know that you’re going to have to play the requisite baby shower games. It’s just part of the deal to keep your interest while the gifts are opened. It’s always the same basic stuff…especially the whole “gift bingo” thing. (Side note…Am I the only one who totally goes blank halfway through filling that out? You know what she’s going to get, but when that half blank board is sitting in front of you, it’s like you’ve never been to a baby shower in your entire life!)

That being said, look at what I found on Etsy today…a new game to spice up that baby shower…Pin the Baby on the Vajayjay! Yep, no more struggling to come up with “receiving blankets” on that bingo board. You’ve got a bullseye on her vajayjay to keep you interested instead.

Here’s what the seller had to say about it:

<em>Moms are growing weary of cutesy, cutesy, cutesy. Guys are coming to baby showers. And, quite frankly, no one really wants to eat “poo” from a diaper.

Overheard at PTBOTVajayjay showers:
“Zombie baby? Hell, yeah!”
“Ew. Sticky umbilical cords!”
“Is that supposed to be Frieda Khalo?”

Game comes with 16 Adorkable Babies, 16 umbilical cords, and one two-sided poster of mom in delivery. One side is light skinned, the other dark.</em>

I will give the seller this much, making one side light skinned, and the other side dark skinned is pretty brilliant marketing. Otherwise…no.

Here’s what would happen if I played this…I would picture the mother-to-be’s face on here. I know I would. We all know that unless she has a a c-section, this is how she is going to look. I like to look at her currently pregnant belly, and I will be thrilled to see that beautiful baby when it comes out…but I’m not really interested in picturing it actually coming out. Nah, I’m good. Although, I would get a chuckle out of seeing the guys play this game. You KNOW they’re cringing picturing the mother-to-be like that, especially if it’s their sister. (Well, maybe that comment depends on where you live!) By the way ladies, when it comes to inviting men to a baby shower. They really don’t want to go. Even if there’s a ton of beer. They don’t care! Ask one if you think I’m lying.

Anyway, if you are interested in having everyone at the next shower you throw picturing the mother-to-be screaming and giving birth, then head on over to Etsy  and plunk down your $24.95. Unless the shower is next week, there’s no rush because she has 95 in stock.

Pin the Baby on the Vajayjay…That’s Shitsy!

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Easter Bunny Rolls – Pinterest Fail


e47e2f3a9d59d271bdb7598ff0aaf361If you’ve been on Pinterest anytime in the last month, then you had to have seen this cute idea for Easter Bunny Rolls being repinned a million times.

Seems easy right? My wonderful cousin thought so too. Being that she’s a GREAT cook, she tried them out this morning. ..and here’s what she put up on her Facebook page:

"Hey, you know those cute little bunny rolls that are all over Pinterest right now? They should NOT look like this! Hahaha! Happy Easter everyone!"

“Hey, you know those cute little bunny rolls that are all over Pinterest right now? They should NOT look like this! Hahaha! Happy Easter everyone!”

Needless to say, myself and all of her friends got a good laugh out of her Pinterest Fail.

It’s OK Cuz….I still love you and your cooking.

Happy Easter everyone!

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Bad Non-Candy Easter Basket Ideas


I was the kid who was allergic to regular chocalte and had to get white chocolate very year in my basket. My parents tried to say I got "special" chocolate, but my brother and the neighborhood kids all made fun of me. Yayyyy!

I was the kid who was allergic to regular chocolate and had to get white chocolate every year in my basket. My parents tried to say I got “special” chocolate, but my brother and the neighborhood kids all made fun of me. Yayyyy!


Happy almost Easter everyone! It’s time to get those Easter baskets together, and I know lots of people look for great non-candy items for their baskets. I get that. My daughter is getting older so now she wants things like i-tunes cards, gift cards, nail polish, accessories, etc…however, I found some real winners today when I went online to see what other people put in their children’s baskets. By the way, none of these are a joke either…people actually suggested these.

Polished Rocks...What kid WANTS polished rocks?!?

Polished Rocks…What kid WANTS polished rocks?!?

Pine Cones...because your child can make cute crafts out of them. Yeah, OK.

Pine Cones…because your child can make cute crafts out of them. Yeah, OK.

Granola...just put it in a bag and tell them it's what the Easter Bunny eats. I'm sure they will be thrilled.

Granola…just put it in a bag and tell them it’s what the Easter Bunny eats. I’m sure they will be thrilled.

Veggie Crisps...because every kid wants this in their basket. They also said you could cut up real, fresh veggies if you have time. Thrilling.

Veggie Crisps…because every kid wants this in their basket. They also said you could cut up real, fresh veggies if you have time. Thrilling.

A wedding picture of their parents. (I SWEAR someone said this!) "Look honey, it's your first Easter...and you were at our wedding!"

A wedding picture of their parents. (I SWEAR someone said this!) “Look honey, it’s your first Easter…and you were at our wedding!”

Fresh fruit cut into cote shapes. "They'll forget all about the candy!" No they won't!

Fresh fruit cut into cute shapes. “They’ll forget all about the candy!” No they won’t!

Their "very own" boxes of band-aids. I guess so they don't have to bother you with that whole "I'm bleeding" thing while you secretly scarf down your own hidden candy!

Their “very own” boxes of band-aids. I guess so they don’t have to bother you with that whole “I’m bleeding” thing while you secretly scarf down your own hidden candy!

Wool/felt Easter Eggs...because these will provide minutes, er, hours of entertainment.

Wool/felt Easter Eggs…because these will provide minutes, er, hours of entertainment.

You can cut out animal pictures from National Geographic, and put them in the Easter eggs. After the hunt, the kids can sort them as to where they might live. Wow, that sounds fun.

You can cut out animal pictures from National Geographic, and put them in the Easter eggs. After the hunt, the kids can sort them as to where they might live. Wow, that sounds fun.

An extra 15 minute bedtime delay coupon...how generous...they get to watch half of a show on Nickelodeon.

An extra 15 minute bedtime delay coupon…how generous…they get to watch half of a show on Nickelodeon.

Buy a few puzzles and put all of the different pieces in the egss. After the hunt, give the kids the boxes, and have them swap pieces until they all have their "own" puzzle pieces. Then they can do the puzzles. I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces. This would cause a meltdown of epic proportions. Trust me.

Buy a few puzzles and put all of the different pieces in the eggs. After the hunt, give the kids the boxes, and have them swap pieces until they all have their “own” puzzle pieces. Then they can do the puzzles. I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces. This would cause a meltdown of epic proportions. Trust me.

and finally…

A pedometer...so they can walk off all of that candy they didn't get!

A pedometer…so they can walk off all of that candy they didn’t get!

Come on…. it’s one stinking day a year people! Give them a some candy and then other things that actually enjoyable!

Happy Easter everyone…and my deepest condolences to the kids who get any of the aforementioned items. Your parents are about as fun as watching paint dry.

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Good Friday Hand Towel


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In honor of Good Friday, I figured I’d put up something “Holy”….so look at what I found on Etsy today…A Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Embroidered Kitchen/Bathroom Hand Towel.

The seller can put this on basically any color hand towel you’d like or she can embroider this onto the following:  Terry Bath Towels, Pillow Case, T-Shirt, Laptop Case, iPad Cover, Sweatshirt, Tote, Quilt Squares, ect.

I’m thinking if this out, you really shouldn’t wipe your hands on it! Wiping your hands on Jesus, Mary, and Joseph has got to be a giant no-no.  I’m not the most religious person, but if I went into someone’s bathroom, and this was my only option on which to dry my hands, I’m using my pants instead. If I have shorts on, then I’m forced to use their shower curtain or something…but not Jesus. It just seems wrong.

If you’d like to make your friends squirm when they are looking for a place to dry their hands, then scoot on over to Etsy and you can get one for $20.00.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Hand Towel…sigh…I can’t even call you Shitsy…that’d be worse than drying my hands on you. You’re killing me Smalls…you’re killing me!

Wishing you all a beautiful Easter Weekend.

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Andre the Clown


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Look at what I found on Etsy today…Andre the Clown.

Are you tired of your kids asking you again and again to take them to the circus? Well, I think I found your cure-all…Andre the Clown!

According to the seller, he is is made of wire and rubber, so he’s very flexible and pose-able. Don’t believe him? Here’s your proof:

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Think of it as a year round “Elf on a Shelf”! You can keep on leaving this around and before you know it your children will be so terrified of clowns that they’ll never beg you to take them to the circus again!

Hey kids...do you like flowers?

Hey kids…do you like flowers?

It’ll cost you $30.00 a pop for Ringling Brothers tickets, plus gas to get there, parking, food, and of course all of the trinkets your kids will want. That could be an expensive day!

…OR…you could hustle on over to Etsy, plunk down $77.42 in US Dollars, plus $10.00 shipping (because it’s coming from New Zealand ), and likely save yourself some money and aggravation. What a bargain! There’s no way you’re getting through “Circus Day” for $87.42! (You better hurry up, there’s only one in stock!)

Take it from me, we spent tons of money to bring my daughter to the circus when she was 3…front row tickets and all the trimmings. Do you think she remembers that day whatsoever? OF COURSE SHE DOESN’T!!! If we had gotten Andre the Clown, she’d remember it forever though, I bet.

Just trying to help you all out!

Andre the Clown…That’s (not)  Shitsy!

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Weener Kleener Soap


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Look at this Intenet Score I found today…The Weener Kleener.

Here’s what the seller has to say about it:

The Weener Kleener Soap is every woman’s dream come true. The last thing any man wants when he’s getting romantic with his lady is to be worrying about his junk being as funky as a monkey. Because let’s be honest, whether you’re a macho lumberjack beer drinking raw meat eating homo erectus or a meek and mild antique store owner, we all know without a proper daily regimen of personal hygiene your “situation” will be as odoriferous as the hamper where the NY Giants toss their jockstraps after a big game. Well, worry no more! Because with the Weener Kleener Soap, you will score a hole-in-one when it comes to keeping your “boys” and their pal, Peter Longfellow as fresh as the morning dew. 

One size fits all, unless of course, you’re John Holmes. And, hey! Who says you have to enjoy this experience alone? Grab your lady and pull her into the shower with you and have a game of ring toss. Because in this little competition there really are no losers.

His description is so good, I really don’t have anything to add…except for the fact that the warning that comes with it is great:

Caution: If the Weener Kleener ever become stuck, soak area with COLD water.

If you’re in the market for a Weener Kleener, scrape up $6.95 and head on over and buy one.

The Weener Kleener…a total Internet Score!

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Ah Love!


il_570xN.421598787_1eu7With love comes honesty.

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