Tag Archives: men

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit



Would you like to put an image in children’s minds that would possibly scar them forever? Perhaps a really bratty niece or nephew? How about that annoying neighborhood kid that gets under your skin all year long? (There’s always one!)

Do you have some sweet paunch that could fill this out in a horrific manner? (I mean, really…who do you know that could perfectly fill this out?)

Do you want to absolutely destroy the upcoming Christmas party you really don’t even want to go to?

Do you not mind lycra vacuum sealed across your face?  (It is a good idea to disguise your face if you’re going to wear this!)

If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned queries, or came up with your own reason (I won’t judge!), then hustle your holly jolly ass over to milanoo.com, and for $52.99, you’ll be able to  squeeze yourself into this bad boy before you know it! (If you do, can you please send pics so I can enjoy your brazenness!) By the way, it’s unisex. (Seriously ladies…NO! Let the men poorly rock this!)

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit…total Internet Score!!

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Reason #1,345,872 That I Don’t Shop On Black Friday…

Courtesy of  News4  New York:

*What Had Happened Was…People are animals…


Shopper Pepper Sprayed, Arrested in Argument Over TV at New Jersey Walmart

Huge crowds turned out to get an early start on Black Friday shopping

A 29-year-old shopper was arrested Thursday in a New Jersey Walmart after arguing with a store manager about a TV and attacking an officer, police said.

Richard Ramos of Newark was charged with disorderly conduct, aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest, according to Garfield police.

Police working at the store on the busy shopping day were dealing with a separate altercation, where a woman in the infant section spit on another woman’s child. While issuing that suspect a summons, they heard a man nearby shouting obscenities.

When they tracked down the man, store security asked the officers to make the man to leave, police say.They tried to escort the man out, but he spun around and grabbed an officer’s shirt. As police tried to handcuff the suspect, he continued to struggle. According to the Star-Ledger, police eventually had to use pepper spray to subdue the man.

Ramos is scheduled to appear in court Friday, police said. It’s not known if he has an attorney. He’s being held at a Bergen County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Spitting on a child…the lowest form of low…and a great way to have your teeth knocked out!

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Chimney Jesus

chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!







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Shittens…Yes, Shittens!


I normally don’t do two posts in one day, but this was just too good to wait until tomorrow!!! In case you haven’t seen this on the web yet, let me be the first to introduce you to the absolute internet gold of “Shittens”.

Now,I know…you think this is a joke, right?? Well, it’s not. I researched it, and this fine product actually exists!

Here’s the sales pitch:

If there’s one great universal truth that we can all agree on, it’s this: No one wants poop on their hands.

And yet, we laugh carelessly in the face of danger every time we take an old fashioned wet wipe to our heinies, flying completely blind in the critical poop-to-hand spatial relation.

How many times have you taken one of those substandard wet wipes to the posterior of a child, risking major contamination from that flailing poop cloth? And how many times has your dog’s “number two” been a little closer to a number one “and a half”, requiring a deadly grab & pull maneuver with whatever’s laying around? Enough is enough!

With new Shittens, you can fully protect your hands while tending to the dirty deed.

Need more proof? Check out the Shittens  YouTube video!  That catchy little jingle is going to be in your head all day. You’re welcome!

If you want to order yourself a 20 pack of pre-moistened Shittens (I know some of you are actually thinking about it!), hoof it on over to the Shittens site, and get them for a mere $9.95.

Shittens….I have waited for over year for someone to not be totally insulted by it when I talk about their product and say “That’s Shitsy”!!!

resell (1)PS – I clearly have no aspirations of getting Freshly Pressed with this post!

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Real Manly Move…OK, Not Really.



* Tavares, Florida

What had happened was… I’m watching the news about the propane plant fire in FL. They interview this guy who says: (I’m paraphrasing) He was in his house, heard the explosions, looked outside, didn’t know what it was , didn’t see fire, grabbed his wife, little daughter, and just decided to start running…no shoes, no phone, just ran.
Let me get this straight…you’re in your house, which is SAFE, have no idea what the explosions are because you hear them but see nothing (He didn’t live right by the plant at all) …and your reaction is to bolt from your home with your wife & two year old in your arms and run willy-nilly through the streets for blocks??? Without shoes and a cell phone??? Just running like a lunatic? Where the hell are you going??? How long before you gain an ounce of sanity and decide to stop and actually think about this? What a hero this guy is, huh? Easy to see what side of the “fight or flight” fence he’s on. Weak, my man…seriously weak. This guy wouldn’t make it in New Jersey.


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Happy One Year Blogiversary!


Happy Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary!

Haaaaaaappy Blogiversary!!!

Yes, today is my one year blogiversary of officially owning “Oh Yes They Did“!  Wow! Time sure does fly by!  In the past year, I have published 140 posts…most of which I am proud of..haha.  I hope all of you have enjoyed the ridiculousness of my blog….minus the couple of sellers that have sent me a little hate mail for featuring their creations.  Thank you so much for your readership, comments, and the fine topics you have sent in to me!! I do hope you will continue to stop by and see what’s new!

Here’s to another year of Unpinteresting Pins, Shitsy Products, What Had Happened Was moments, and Outstanding Obituaries!!



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Bartering For Rent…Bad Idea!


From the What Had Happened Was files…

See this guy here? This is Samuel Otero of Florida…and you REALLY DO NOT want to EVER have him as a roommate! Seriously, you are better off living anywhere… a dumpster, inside a dripping sewer conduit…anywhere but with this guy.

What had happened was…Samuel had a very interesting arrangement with his ex-roommate. Apparently the bartering system is alive and well, because the deal between them was rather than paying rent money, the ex-roomie “paid” him with naked photos of himself instead. (Yes, you read that right!)  This little deal worked out nicely for a year, ( Really, a year?) but then the roomie started to feel “uncomfortable” about it, and moved out. (If he was smart, he moved out in the middle of the night on tiptoes!). Anyway, Samuel didn’t exactly take the shunning lightly (I mean, a guy’s gotta get paid, er, “paid”), so he got a touch vindictive. By vindictive, I mean he did things like constantly sending harassing texts threatening to kill him…oh, and just so happened to make a ton of copies of the “rent” and taped them all over his car…AND…HIS GRANDMOTHER’S CAR! (Oh Yes He Did!!!). He was subsequently arrested for stalking and released on a $5,500 bond.

OK, a few things here…

1.  When are people going to learn with the naked pictures thing? You KNOW they’re going to come to bite you in the ass someday…or in this case, permanently scar your Grandmother’s retinas for life.

2. How does this deal even come about? “Hey, I really want to live here, but I’m pretty broke. How’s about I just give you some naked shots of me every month instead? It’s worth more than any currency I could ever hand you!” …”Yeah, that’s a great idea.”  Ummm.  I’m not quite sure if this is what our forefathers had in mind.

3. Back to the pictures. I wonder if he really had to start “working it” over the course of the year. I wonder if the ex-roomie had to take requests after a while.  I’m sure he couldn’t just keep doing the same stale old shot, right? That would be some crappy bartering right there.

4. How the hell did it take the ex-roomie A YEAR to start to feel “uncomfortable” with this?!? Maybe he figured he already gave the guy enough to make a photo calendar out of, so it was the perfect time to make his great escape. Let me tell you something, I can look at this guy’s picture for 3 seconds and feel “uncomfortable”….but then again, if you’re willing to make this deal, your sanity is pretty much in question anyway.

5. I hate to say it, but you kind of have to hand it to Samuel on this one. This guy is Grade A Vindictive. He started basic…with the “I’m going to kill you!” texts, and sure, he’s not the first to vandalize someone’s car…but to go balls to the wall and head straight for GRANDMA’S car with the naked pictures?!? Holy Shit. That’s just going dead for the jugular with a machete! This guy has raised the bar for all of the rest of the stalkers in training. He might even get his own term like “Don’t make me Samuel you!”

6. He got a bail of $5,500??!? Wonder if he tried to barter his way out of that one.

7. Finally..how about poor Grandma? Imagine her coming out in the morning in her nice little senior community and seeing that action on her car??? You KNOW he didn’t just put a few in a tidy pile under the windshield wiper! He’s CRAZY, and probably made quite a collage. (The article did say he PLASTERED her car with them!)  You know the first old lady that was out walking at 5:30 AM and saw that, prancercised her ass back home lickety-split to call everyone up (but Grandma) to see this! Gossip spreads faster in those communities than anywhere else in the world…but I digress. Back to Grandma…Once you see something, you can never un-see it. Sure, Grandma probably saw him naked a million times when he was a baby, but I’m thinking it’s a teensy bit different when she sees him splaying his junk like a champ as an adult. God, I hope she has cataracts so she didn’t catch the full brunt, but you know she saw each and every single one. Imagine how fun it was for her to remove each one from the car? Bet it took a while, because Florida is HOT and I bet the tape was sticking nicely to the paint. Also, how do you think that conversation went between she and her grandson? It cannot be easy to explain your way out of that one. I have a feeling poor Grandma will never be the same again.

Game, Set, Match Samuel….except for that crooked chin hair he’s rocking in his mug shot.. I bet he’s got a shaky hand though from all of that pent up rage, thus making shaving a straight line kinda tough.

Moral of the story:

1. Don’t barter for rent.

2. If you really have to barter, naked pictures are a really  bad idea.

3.  If you see Samuel…RUN. He is one crazy bitch!

Happy Friday everyone!

PS: No way I’m putting this one in the running for the “What Had Happened Was” story of the year! Uh-uh! What if he doesn’t win? That probably won’t go well.  Again (in the eloquent words of Miley Cyrus) – He’s “Cray!”

*Article courtesy of the New York Daily News.

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Weener Kleener Soap



Look at this Intenet Score I found today…The Weener Kleener.

Here’s what the seller has to say about it:

The Weener Kleener Soap is every woman’s dream come true. The last thing any man wants when he’s getting romantic with his lady is to be worrying about his junk being as funky as a monkey. Because let’s be honest, whether you’re a macho lumberjack beer drinking raw meat eating homo erectus or a meek and mild antique store owner, we all know without a proper daily regimen of personal hygiene your “situation” will be as odoriferous as the hamper where the NY Giants toss their jockstraps after a big game. Well, worry no more! Because with the Weener Kleener Soap, you will score a hole-in-one when it comes to keeping your “boys” and their pal, Peter Longfellow as fresh as the morning dew. 

One size fits all, unless of course, you’re John Holmes. And, hey! Who says you have to enjoy this experience alone? Grab your lady and pull her into the shower with you and have a game of ring toss. Because in this little competition there really are no losers.

His description is so good, I really don’t have anything to add…except for the fact that the warning that comes with it is great:

Caution: If the Weener Kleener ever become stuck, soak area with COLD water.

If you’re in the market for a Weener Kleener, scrape up $6.95 and head on over and buy one.

The Weener Kleener…a total Internet Score!


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Ah Love!

il_570xN.421598787_1eu7With love comes honesty.

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