Tag Archives: summer

Seaside Heights Chic


il_570xN.404278813_4ur6

Look at what I found on Etsy today…some “Sexy Cut-Up Leggings” aka Seaside Heights Chic …just in time for your summer visit to the boardwalk!

I am fortunate enough to live at the beautiful Jersey Shore. In fact, I live very close to Seaside Heights. Now most of you know of it from “The Jersey Shore” which did a fantastic job of incorrectly depicting what it’s like here. Granted, the Seaside Boardwalk has always been a great place to people watch, but thanks to that show, even bigger droves of morons have found their way here. Those droves go out of their way to live up to the stereotype that all of us that actually live here hate. The only place in Ocean County that you can see complete idiocy is up on those boards, done by people who come down for vacation. The locals are NOTHING like that.

That being said, I did find some leggings for you to wear up on the boardwalk if you’d like to fit in with the other attention seeking jackasses.

Here’s what the seller had to say about them:

WARNING CUT UP AND SHREDDED LEGGINGS / TIGHTS : Upon stepping into The Wild Painted leggings I immediately feel more confident, sexy and powerful. I am giving you this warning because I believe you will feel the same way. I love clothes that feel good against my skin, accentuate my shape and just feel good to wear.

OK,YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ,PLEASE WEAR THE WILD WITH CAUTION
The Wild leggings are highly addictive by nature and wearing them is known to be extremely habit forming. Due to the amount of attention and compliments you will receive when wearing The Wild, I must inform you that, I can be held responsible for your desire to wear you’re leggings constantly, feel amazing and even start a collection of statement leg wear from The Wild.

LIKE THE BEAST OF THE WILD:
These Leggings cannot be tamed. Every pair of The Wild leggings is made to order and even though it is the same species no two pairs will look exactly alike (that just the nature of the Beast a.k.a 4TheWild Leggings). 

I created the wild Leggings to show off a women’s curves size small -3x, with styles that take you from day to night.

A few quick things:

*If you are a 3X, you probably shouldn’t be wearing these…although on the boardwalk, these would be a big hit with the 3x crowd.

*If you do wear them, PLEASE PLEASE wear them on a day when the tanning index is a 10. Imagine how hot your naturally patterned legs will look at night when you go out in that ill fitting mini-dress you packed? You will turn heads girl, trust me.

So, if you’ve got Seaside Heights in your plans this summer, and you want to let us all know that you 100% do not live here, head on over to Etsy, and snag yourself a pair of these “sexy” leggings for a mere $42.00! Not for nothing, but $42.00 seems kind of steep for that little material. It must be the workmanship you’re paying for.

Hopefully I will see you strutting your stuff on the boardwalk. I’ll be the one on the bench cracking up as you saunter on by.

Sexy Cut-Up Leggings…That’s Shitsy!

Leave a comment

Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!

Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…Unpinteresting


Look at this ridiculous “invention” I found on Pinterest today…supposed sparkler safety through the use of a Solo cup just in time for the 4th of July.  Are you kidding me with this? This is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with parenting today. Does your kid really need to be protected from a friggin sparkler?!? If so, just leave your kid in the house because your little pumpkin doesn’t deserve the joy of a sparkler. When I was a kid, I had sparklers all the time. I would even twirl them through the air to make my own light show…and never once did I get burnt horrifically.  Why…because I held it properly away from my body. If I did get a little second of a singe, I said “Ouch!”, laughed and moved on. I wouldn’t have even cared if I had a 3rd degree burn, which I doubt is even possible.  I would have soldiered on because sparklers were awesome!  I distinctly remember my brother and cousins shaking their sparklers at me like they were going to singe my face off. Hell, I remember standing sideways and making it look like I was a fire-eater at the circus while I passed it down the other side of my face. Guess what, I still have a cheek full of unscathed skin. It was all part of the joy of playing with sparklers!

I have never even heard of the rash of kids being “burned” by sparklers up until the last year or so. I blame it on “Helicopter Parents” who swoop in every two seconds to make sure their little perfect darling never experiences anything that could hold even a mere millisecond of unpleasantness. This is just going too far….and a perfect waste of a Solo cup, which should be holding alcohol. If your child cannot correctly hold a sparkler without burning the shit out of themselves and then crying like a banshee under the picnic table, then they are either too young to have a sparkler or something is seriously wrong.

Solo Cup Sparkler Safety Method…I dub thee absurd and Unpinteresting.

3 Comments

Filed under Unpinteresting