Tag Archives: women

No More Panty Lines


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Cyber Monday Alert for the ladies…Strapless panties.  (Yeah, that’s a new one by me too!)

Apparently it sticks to your lady parts via adhesive, so you don’t have unsightly panty lines, noticeable swamp ass, or the dreaded whale tail.

I’m just going to let you read a review before I post my own thoughts on this…

Basically, the Shibue Strapless Panty was really easy to put on. You stick on the front, and then the back. I have really sensitive skin, so I was worried the adhesive would bother it, but it never did. The panty ended up being quite comfortable. I was also worried that going to the bathroom would be a pain, but it was very easy to get the panty off and back on again. I was quite surprised with how well it actually worked. However, it seemed to start to not re-apply well when doing anything that caused a good amount of sweating, so I wouldn’t recommend them for any really active activity where you’re going to be sweating a lot. You can get it to re-apply in that case, by drying off the area first, but if you’re going to be continually sweating, it can be a bit of a hassle.

Overall, I think the Shibue Couture Strapless Panty is a great alternative for women who don’t want panty lines, or would otherwise go without panties altogether. It’s really easy to use, and re-usable, and is great for any occasion where panty lines are an issue.

Now…a few things here…

#1. I don’t care what this lady says…adhesive stuck to your lady parts cannot be all that comfortable….and I have a hard time believing it peels off as gently and easily as advertised.

#2.  It’s washable and reusable? How the heck is there any adhesive left once you wash it? Is the adhesive actually velcro-like? Now that really can’t be comfortable!

#3.  If you get sweaty, it doesn’t work as well. OK,  sweatiness is a no go, but you can wash it and it still works? Huh?

Here’s my take…either put on a thong or go commando. Either of those has to be better than this.

I don’t know about the rest of you ladies, but I’m not really down with this.

However, if this is something you’re interested in because you would like adhesive stuck to your lady parts, then by all means head over to Shibue and order yours for $15…or you can head over to Amazon and get a whole big multi-pack that also includes pasties for between $30-$150.

Shibue Strapless Panties…I just can’t bring myself to call you an Internet Score.

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Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit


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Would you like to put an image in children’s minds that would possibly scar them forever? Perhaps a really bratty niece or nephew? How about that annoying neighborhood kid that gets under your skin all year long? (There’s always one!)

Do you have some sweet paunch that could fill this out in a horrific manner? (I mean, really…who do you know that could perfectly fill this out?)

Do you want to absolutely destroy the upcoming Christmas party you really don’t even want to go to?

Do you not mind lycra vacuum sealed across your face?  (It is a good idea to disguise your face if you’re going to wear this!)

If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned queries, or came up with your own reason (I won’t judge!), then hustle your holly jolly ass over to milanoo.com, and for $52.99, you’ll be able to  squeeze yourself into this bad boy before you know it! (If you do, can you please send pics so I can enjoy your brazenness!) By the way, it’s unisex. (Seriously ladies…NO! Let the men poorly rock this!)

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit…total Internet Score!!

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Reason #1,345,872 That I Don’t Shop On Black Friday…


Courtesy of  News4  New York:

*What Had Happened Was…People are animals…

Black-Friday-Crowd

Shopper Pepper Sprayed, Arrested in Argument Over TV at New Jersey Walmart

Huge crowds turned out to get an early start on Black Friday shopping

A 29-year-old shopper was arrested Thursday in a New Jersey Walmart after arguing with a store manager about a TV and attacking an officer, police said.

Richard Ramos of Newark was charged with disorderly conduct, aggravated assault on a police officer and resisting arrest, according to Garfield police.

Police working at the store on the busy shopping day were dealing with a separate altercation, where a woman in the infant section spit on another woman’s child. While issuing that suspect a summons, they heard a man nearby shouting obscenities.

When they tracked down the man, store security asked the officers to make the man to leave, police say.They tried to escort the man out, but he spun around and grabbed an officer’s shirt. As police tried to handcuff the suspect, he continued to struggle. According to the Star-Ledger, police eventually had to use pepper spray to subdue the man.

Ramos is scheduled to appear in court Friday, police said. It’s not known if he has an attorney. He’s being held at a Bergen County jail in lieu of $10,000 bail.

Spitting on a child…the lowest form of low…and a great way to have your teeth knocked out!

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Chimney Jesus


chimney1It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal...just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that's a little ridiculous!)

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print - $158.95

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!

 

 

 

 

 

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Shittens…Yes, Shittens!


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I normally don’t do two posts in one day, but this was just too good to wait until tomorrow!!! In case you haven’t seen this on the web yet, let me be the first to introduce you to the absolute internet gold of “Shittens”.

Now,I know…you think this is a joke, right?? Well, it’s not. I researched it, and this fine product actually exists!

Here’s the sales pitch:

If there’s one great universal truth that we can all agree on, it’s this: No one wants poop on their hands.

And yet, we laugh carelessly in the face of danger every time we take an old fashioned wet wipe to our heinies, flying completely blind in the critical poop-to-hand spatial relation.

How many times have you taken one of those substandard wet wipes to the posterior of a child, risking major contamination from that flailing poop cloth? And how many times has your dog’s “number two” been a little closer to a number one “and a half”, requiring a deadly grab & pull maneuver with whatever’s laying around? Enough is enough!

With new Shittens, you can fully protect your hands while tending to the dirty deed.

Need more proof? Check out the Shittens  YouTube video!  That catchy little jingle is going to be in your head all day. You’re welcome!

If you want to order yourself a 20 pack of pre-moistened Shittens (I know some of you are actually thinking about it!), hoof it on over to the Shittens site, and get them for a mere $9.95.

Shittens….I have waited for over year for someone to not be totally insulted by it when I talk about their product and say “That’s Shitsy”!!!

resell (1)PS – I clearly have no aspirations of getting Freshly Pressed with this post!

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Posh Puppy Purses


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Attention tiny dog owners!!!If you have been so gauche as to actually walk your little smooshy-face on a leash on the mean streets of Manhattan, then you are sooooo out of the loop. If you don’t want your high class friends to drop you like yesterday’s news, then you need the Puppy Purse! You know Sir Smooshy-Face is far too good to let his little tootsies actually touch the pavement where the rest of the heathens walk! Perish the thought, you awful dog owner you! If you’re not carrying  in him in this contraption, or God forbid carrying him in a designer tote bag (which is so last year!) then the rich, snooty dog police may have to give you a citation and seize that little pooch from the life of horror it obviously has been enduring in your care!

Doesn’t he look comfortable? (Um, no he does not!) Well he should be comfortable while he is dangled precariously from that leather strapped harness giving his legs nowhere to go but to float freely in the air as you stroll down Park Avenue. Just make sure your dog is 6 pounds or under, because otherwise it won’t work out. Does that even really need to be said? Come on now, everyone knows the ultra rich only own dogs that small. You can’t possible have a 7 pound dog in your penthouse apartment! It goes against the rules of life, don’t you know!

If you’re looking to transport your own Sir Smoooshy-Face in the most glamorous way possible, you are too late to get one at the PetCo on the Upper West Side. They sold out like hotcakes. (I’m having a hard even picturing the ultra rich ever setting foot in a PetCo!) Fret not though, my snobby friends, because you can browse through a vast selection of Puppy Purses at BitchNewYork.com! Prices range from $66 – $100.00.  Anyone whose anyone buys the $100 Pink Biker Baby Puppy Purse, of course!

I’d keep going, but I must go walk my two giant mastiffs on their leashes now. If they only knew what a low rent owner they really had, huh? Sigh, such white trash we are in this house.

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Freaky “Booty” Googling


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I have to laugh at the amount of traffic that has come to my site thanks to people googling the following phrases:

1. Ghetto Booty

2. Giant Ghetto Booty

3. Huge Ghetto Booty

and my personal favorite so far…

4. Big Ole Ghetto Booty.

Wow, I write one post on that topic: Diagnosis Ghetto Booty, and the freaks come out of the woodwork. I have a feeling my post wasn’t exactly what they were looking for, but seeing their searches on my stats page cracks me up.

Google on, you freaks…Google on.

PS – Here’s a little something for your time:

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You’re welcome.

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