Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit

 

Would you like to put an image in children’s minds that would possibly scar them forever? Perhaps a really bratty niece or nephew? How about that annoying neighborhood kid that gets under your skin all year long? (There’s always one!)

Do you have some sweet paunch that could fill this out in a horrific manner? (I mean, really…who do you know that could perfectly fill this out?)

Do you want to absolutely destroy the upcoming Christmas party you really don’t even want to go to?

Do you not mind lycra vacuum sealed across your face?  (It is a good idea to disguise your face if you’re going to wear this!)

If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned queries, or came up with your own reason (I won’t judge!), then hustle your holly jolly ass over to milanoo.com, and for $52.99, you’ll be able to  squeeze yourself into this bad boy before you know it! (If you do, can you please send pics so I can enjoy your brazenness!) By the way, it’s unisex. (Seriously ladies…NO! Let the men poorly rock this!)

Santa Claus Lycra Spandex Suit…total Internet Score!!

Chicken Christmas Sweater

 

Look at what I found on Etsy today…a homemade crocheted Chicken Christmas Sweater! If you’ve been here before,then you know I have a small fascination with the things people come up with to crotchet. This is one I have never seen before! A Chicken Sweater? With a Christmas theme? Chickens need themed sweaters?!? Am I missing something here?

Now I tried to rationalize this in my mind as I sat and stared at it, but I couldn’t. Do chickens really get that cold? I live at the shore and know basically zero about chickens, but I have my doubts here. (If any of you know differently about this and would like to school me, please do!)  I look at this picture and picture someone ridiculously trying to “wrassle” their chicken into this while it squawks like it’s being killed for Sunday dinner.  Also,I notice this chicken in said sweater is on a table in the house. Is this normal chicken owning behavior?? People let chickens roam free in their homes? They’re not potty trained!!!  If so, why does the chicken even need a sweater? It’s inside where it’s warm, right? Sigh. I don’t get any of this!!

I bet you’re wondering what the top looks like, aren’t you? Well, here you go:

Apparently it snaps nicely around the chicken’s body for easy on, easy off.

If you’re in the market for a Chicken Christmas Sweater,then hustle on over to Etsy and snap this up because there’s only one in stock.  It retails for $17, which I guess is a good deal. (Truthfully, I have no idea what a Chicken Sweater should cost!)

Maybe this is something someone would like or find useful,but I’d be 100% lying if I said I fit into that category of people(or knew anyone who did), therefore…

Chicken Christmas Sweater…That’s Shitsy!

 

Chimney Jesus

It’s that time of year again, my friends! Black Friday starts my tips for “interesting” Christmas gifts. With the winners I find, the chances of you having to worry about someone receiving doubles of your gift are slim. Hell, throw out the gift receipt…they’re not going to need it…and besides, with the awesomeness you’ll be betrothing upon your friends and loved ones, they would NEVER dare think of returning it! (At least with you knowing!)

So, without further ado, I bring you the first of many spectacular gifting possibilities…Chimney Jesus!

Do you want to screw up your children’s idea of Christmas by crossing stories?

Do you want people to remember the “real reason for the season”?

Are you “not exactly” religious, like me?

Are you looking to offend your ultra religious friends?

Are you just a total heathen?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then head on over to Zazzle.com and shop to your heart’s delight, because they have everything “Chimney Jesus”!

Here’s just a few examples:

You can start simple for a great deal…just $1 for Chimney Jesus cards!

Chimney Jesus onesies for the baby! $26.95

Chimney Jesus binder for your holiday picture memories! $21.95

Chimney Jesus Napkins- $50.95 for a set of four. (OK, that’s a little ridiculous!)

and finally, for those of you with money to burn:

Chimney Jesus stretch canvas print – $158.95

I could go on and on, because there’s tons more Chimney Jesus items…like water bottles, outfits for your dog, phone cases, mugs, etc…but you can just head on over to Zazzle.com and peruse on your own!

Chimney Jesus…the first of many great gift ideas!

Stop back (or subscribe to my blog…hint,hint) for other gift ideas to wow your family and friends with between now and Christmas! I’ll take good care of you. Promise!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy One Year Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary!

Haaaaaaappy Blogiversary!!!

Yes, today is my one year blogiversary of officially owning “Oh Yes They Did“!  Wow! Time sure does fly by!  In the past year, I have published 140 posts…most of which I am proud of..haha.  I hope all of you have enjoyed the ridiculousness of my blog….minus the couple of sellers that have sent me a little hate mail for featuring their creations.  Thank you so much for your readership, comments, and the fine topics you have sent in to me!! I do hope you will continue to stop by and see what’s new!

Here’s to another year of Unpinteresting Pins, Shitsy Products, What Had Happened Was moments, and Outstanding Obituaries!!

Cheers!

Snowflake Project – Sandy Hook Elementary School

For any of you wishing to be a part of the Snowflake Project for the Sandy Hook Elementary School, there has been an address correction! Please send your glittery, beautiful snowflakes to the following address:

Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514

Rest in Peace Little Angels/Snowflake Project

Out of respect for the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, I will not be making any posts until after Christmas. As a parent and a teacher, my heart is too heavy for humor. Wishing all of my readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season! Take some time to tell those around you that you love them and reflect on the many blessings in your life.

If you would like to do something nice for the survivors from the Sandy Hook Elementary School, please read below about “The Snowflake Project”. While it is a GREAT project for teachers and their students, it is also something you can do with your own child:

CALLING ALL TEACHER FRIENDS!!! Please Please consider participating!!!!

My dear friend who is a teacher in CT passed this along so I thought I would share. This could be a great project for school, playgroups, or a simple activity at home. Please consider participating!

A building has been designated to house the students from Sandy Hook Elementary School. They are in the process of transporting desks, chairs, supplies and so forth to this location.

My neighbor is the president of the Newtown PTA and we met tonight discussing what we can do to make these children feel comforted upon their return to school.
Please join us in “The Snowflake Project”.We are asking your students to make and decorate a snowflake. We will hang them in the hallways at the stark, new building where the Sandy Hook students will be returning. PLEASE NO WORDS! We want just a cheerful, happy (glitter and sparkle) environment for the students entering the new building.
Please pass on to any teachers you think may want to participate.
When you send your snowflakes, please include a note to tell us where they are from (your school, class, town, etc) to display along with your snowflakes. 
Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514
Thank you so very much!

It is a simple gesture that will help make a difference for the students as they try to heal. My students will be making these today.

May God Bless all those from the Sandy Hook Elementary School and the citizens of Newtown, Connecticut. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

The Laziest Christmas Lights EVER…

Look at what I found on Pinterest today…The Firefly Landscape Laser Lights…AKA the laziest Christmas lights EVER.

Here’s what the seller, Solutions, has to say about it:

We guarantee you won’t miss the tradition of climbing a ladder on a cold, snowy or rainy day to string lights. Instead, just plug in this light. Your home, your trees, your entire yard will come to life with a stunning light show. This all-new way to decorate uses cutting-edge laser and holographic technology to project thousands of pin-points of green light…it gives the impression of thousands of fireflies!

OK…Let me tell you a little something about this…It’s just plain stupid…and lazy…and did I mention stupid?!? Are you kidding me that someone would actually hook this thing up in their front yard, point it at their home, and think this passes as a Christmas display? It most certainly does not. First of all, the lights are on everything under the sun…the house, the windows, the front stairs,  the lawn, the sky…C’mon! Nobody, not even Clark Griswald, does that!

Want to see how great it looks in the middle of the night? Prepare yourself…

Oh yeah, that looks fantastic, doesn’t it?? I’m sure the neighbors will all be really jealous of that house. It looks like a scene out of a B Horror movie!

This company needs to take an angle and stick to it! How do they market this as  thousands of fireflies and then say this is a great solution to being cold and hanging Christmas lights? It is not a great solution to anything.  Is it fireflies or is it Christmas lights? Is it both? I personally have to go with neither!

I’m fairly certain they made up the great reviews too:

*By Pearl, from East Tennessee

 

Pros: ease of use, covers a large area, more spectacular than described, use throughout the year

“I’ve seen a lot of light displays – this ONE elicited my dance of joy! One light source, easy to install (plug in). The trees are full of twinkling “snow flakes”. From the house hang glistening “icicles”. The light is far-reaching – just a flip of the switch turns my entire yard into a fairy land. I highly recommend this product. The spectacular effects and ease of operation make this well worth the price. I continue to be amazed by the cheerful beauty created by this one.”

I am frightened that Pearl actually did a dance of joy over this! Twinkling snowflakes?!? Glistening icicles? What the hell is she looking at?

*By John, from Lakeland, Fl

“I bought this to help decorate my front yard for Christmas. I have a huge Magnolia tree that is now completely lit up! My neighbors can’t believe how cool this thing is. It’s well made and works great.”

Dear John, Your neighbors are lying through their teeth!

*and finally by Bob, from New Jersey

 Pros: easy

“With just plugging in, the most unique Christmas display on the street. It was a neighborhood hit!”

Bob, I speak for everyone in our great state of NJ, when I say it was only the hit of the neighborhood behind your back. I’m embarrassed Bob. That’s not how we roll in Jersey at Christmas time!

If you would like to be the laziest person on your street with the worst Christmas light display EVER, then swing on by Solutions, and get ready to drop a cool $279.00 on this Christmas horror. Sweet Baby Jesus! It’s over $300.00 with shipping! I cannot believe anyone would actually buy this, but you know my motto “People are stupid”, and apparently lazier than I ever gave them credit for. Wow. Just WOW!

Firefly Landscape Laser Lights…..I dub thee Unpinteresting, Shitsy, and a complete eyesore.

The Dog Walking Hat…It Really Is Shitsy!

Look at what I found on Etsy today…A Dog Walking Hat that retails for $20.00. As per usual, there’s only one in stock, so hurry up if you want this gem.

After reading the description, I feel like I don’t even need to do my own snarky commentary, because the seller’s ad really says it all…

Need a great hat with a sense of humor? Then get The Big Poop Hat!

This hat is great for so many reasons:

1. When you walk your dog, you can point to it and say “Do this, Rover, do this!”
2. When people say “You look like crap today” – you can say “Yes, I do! Thank you!”
3. If someone yells “Hey Sh–head” – you’ll finally know they really mean you!
4. If you don’t feel like people talking to you – just wear this hat and no one will.
5. If you don’t feel like picking up your dogs business and someone notices, you can say “Oh – it’s just a hat.”

FREE plastic fly with purchase!

She’s not kidding about the plastic fly either…

I honestly don’t know what possesses people to make this kind of stuff….or buy it.  Imagine seeing your neighbor outside wearing this? Sigh. You know whoever was the lucky model for this hat refused to show her face. Smart move.

The Dog Walking Hat…That’s Shitsy! Really, it is.

Get Your Beer Mittens Here!

Look at what I found on Etsy today…crocheted beer mittens! They retail for $15 and can be made in whatever colors you’d like! Got a favorite team? She can make these in your team colors for tailgating…and you’ll never lose your beer or ever even have to put it down.

A few thoughts…

*What ever happened to wearing good old fashioned gloves when you drink in a parking lot on a chilly day?  Seriously, I have done that for years and never thought I could improve on it…or would even need to. Besides, these are not even insulated! They are just plain old yarn. That is not going to keep your drinking hand warm…and what the hell are you supposed to put on your other hand? Nothing? A glove that doesn’t match this? The whole thing is a giant  fashion faux pas, my friends…even in tailgating land.

* The seller states you never have to put your drink down now. Maybe I like to put my beer down once in a while. This would just be a giant pain in the ass when you have to do anything else for 10 seconds besides sit there and drink. If you have to use the bathroom (port-o-potty, hide behind your car, whatever) you totally have to take this off. You most certainly can’t eat while wearing this on one of your hands. What if an errant football comes flying at your head? You can’t catch it in this…and you’d totally spill your beer!  On and off…on and off…no thanks.

* There is no actual bottom for the beer to sit in. In looks like there is, but there’s not. That means you have to sit gripping the beer in your yarn mitten the entire time so you don’t drop it.

*Your beer would actually get warm wearing this…not because of the yarn…but because you have your damn hand wrapped around it the entire time. Any good beer drinker knows that if you want your beer to stay ice cold,  holding it like that is a no-no. Once the beer clears the neck, you hold it up there…unless you are a beer slammer…then it doesn’t matter where you hold it, because it’s not going to last that long anyway.

*Your friends will ridicule you…I know mine would. Mine would throw it in an open fire source if I left that alone for even 10 seconds. (Well, first they would pose for pictures dangling it above the flames.)  They’d never do such a thing if I had gloves on…but this? Absolutely. That’s what friends are for.

Wearing Non-Insulated Crocheted Beer Mittens? That’s Shitsy!

Original Nose Warmers…I’d Rather Be Cold.

Look at what I found on Etsy today…Original Nose Warmers. They retail for $9.74 each and come in quite a variety of styles.  The one pictured above is the “Barely There” model.  Yeah, being it’s skin colored you might miss it on someone’s face, right? I’d spot that thing from two city blocks away! However, it is pretty tame, compared to the others in this shop…

There’s the “Pink Lady Nose Warmer” for the fashion maven in your house:

She doesn’t look as happy as she did a few seconds ago, now does she?

There’s the “Spring Flower Power” model…

…because March comes in like a lion.

There’s even some for the man in your life, like this “Burgundy on Gray” version:

I think he did this against his own will.

The “Camo” version…

Oh No! Where did your nose go? I can’t see it!

And some spunky animal versions like:

The Black Eared Puppy Nose Warmer:

Maybe someone will really mistake her for a puppy and not recognize her…or not!

and the next big thing in winter wear…the Hawk Bird Nose Warmer

Maybe she can hang out with Double Hummingbird Feeder Hat Guy!

Now, there are a few important notes the seller would like you to know about these fine crocheted creations:

*”It’s a unique, and practical way to keep your nose warm!” Mmmmhmmm. Unique, yes…practical…not even close! You’re totally going to get lint balls up your nose wearing this!

*There’s only one of each in stock (but she can customize one just for you!)” You know what I’m going to say…If you want one you better hurry the hell up and get to ordering!

*“There are loops on the side of each nose warmer that hook right onto your ears.” Because God forbid this should come off while you’re out traipsing through town. Also, you know this baby will leave tell tale yarn line/indentations across your face because it looks a little snug.

*And finally “They are hand-made in a non-smoking environment!” Now apparently this a HUGE selling point in the crocheting community! I have seen this on many pages on Etsy, so one can safely assume that smoke would cling to yarn like white on rice…and who wants something that going to attach to your nose to smell like smoke? Then again, who actually wants to even attach this to their nose? (I’m pretty sure I didn’t hear a single “ME!!!” in the crowd!)

FYI – This lady has been making these since 1970, uses her nieces, nephews, and random neighbors to model them…and lives in Alabama. ALABAMA?!? How cold does it actually get in Alabama? She’d have an ounce of street cred if she lived in Wisconsin maybe…but ALABAMA?!?  Come on now.

So there you have it…I don’t think I need to say anything else about this, now do I?

Except…Original Nose Warmers…That’s Shitsy!